The Barstool Fund - In Support Of The 30 Day FundLearn More

Turns Out I'm A Huge Boog Sciambi Guy

First things first I want to say Thank God that Chris Myers is not taking this post. That was just about the most terrifying speculation you could drum up for me this offseason, all things included. After the realization that we're looking at 4-year rebuild at best, the absolute worst thing to follow would be the soothing sounds of Chris Myers mindlessly mocking and overvaluing the state of the organization. 

And now here's bleacher bum fan favorite Jason Heyward hitting 7th. Jason's 0-26 slump to start the season is brought to you by Simply Safe. Leave home unattended with the same confidence these starting pitcher's have attacked Jason.

That's a very real scenario and without hesitation I literally could not be more happy. Not only am I saved from a harrowing nightmare, we also get an absolute DYNAMITE Sunday Night Baseball voice in my guy Boog. 

So let's talk about Boog starting with #1 on the highlights list

Based on this and this alone I really like the idea of him hanging around Rizzo and Happ as we battle in the NL Central. I'm not saying we'll suck but it's going to be a dog fight. And the fact we got a great personality in the booth that's seasoned and awesome is a massive win. 

Another W is that I can overreact to the following quote.

It may not mean that much to certain big scale decision makers but same time I'm not the one managing pandemic cash flows. For now let's just pretend Boog is talking about the fans and on that front, hell yes my good man. There's a billion watering holes within walking distance of the ballpark. And when the world's right, they're often filled with bonafide characters. Am I entering my guys in a trivia contest against White Sox fans? Do I need you arguing bunt defense strategy with hillbilly Cardinals fans? Fuck No and Of Course Not but that doesn't mean we don't carry are own enjoyable brand. 

Boog will be the perfect voice for us and honestly I can't wait to build the relationship. Hopefully strong enough that he doesn't run out the back door in the middle of the night 2 decades from now but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. 

For now let's just agree it's some kind of wonderful that Boog is a big Heat Miser guy

I might have lost some friends over my takes on the Heat Miser but in return I get Boog Sciambi in the foxhole with me. It's a positive tradeoff but more importantly it's a first round Christmas Villain. If you disagree it's because your childhood has glaring weaknesses idk what to tell you. Take it up with Doctor What's His Name. For now let's just assume Boog loves a good Dog Walk Snake Draft and he's in on the joke. Classic Boog. 

Overall this is a 9.6 hire for me. I had a lot of doubt this offseason that it would get worse from here but this is actually a great replacement from Len. Especially if he didn't want to be here any more. I don't blame him with how much shit has changed and the shirt and tie, but end of the day we need guys that want to be here. Boog is that kind of guy and we welcome him with open arms. 

PS - I feel like he should sub on one of your 16 inch teams this summer. No better way to get acclimated than a hot humid night gassing cold ones with the boys under some northwest Chicago lights. Come on Boog we'd love to have you.