Times are fuckin tough right now. And the have been for the past year or so.
With the hospitality industry on life support and the gig economy essentially dead, I've resorted to doing weddings.
Word has apparently gotten out about it too because I've got a lot of inquiries.
I've talked in the past on Barstool Chicago radio about some of the past ones I've gotten to do. I've always been down to do big time over the top obnoxious ones. Who could say no to those? Some guy wants to let his fiance burn 2 or 3 million (yes million) for a one-day event they can each look back on down the road when they're getting remarried and you better hope you get invited.
These people pull out all the stops.
Rent out entire hotels and resorts for their guests, fly them all in and put them up. Insane rehearsal dinners that are better than 99% of actual weddings I've ever been to. Top shelf top of the line everything.
Like I said, obnoxious.
It's like those shows MTV used to do "My Sweet Sixteen" on the girls whose fathers cheat on their moms and feel guilty so they buy out their country club and book 98 Degrees to perform for her and all her friends.
I just did one a few months ago that had Lee Brice perform during the rehearsal dinner party. Then Dan and Shay during the reception the following night, followed by me and the Chainsmokers for the "after-party". Fuckin bananas.
I've also got one coming up this summer for a certain NFL coach that's still in the playoffs. NBD.
So I guess you could say I'm on a hot streak. And we all know that when you're on a hot streak you ride that baby til the fuckin breaks fall off.
But I've hit kind of a snag. I got the following email last week and as a pretty self-away guy, I know my strengths but I know my weaknesses better. And this is definitely not one of my strengths-
From: Hiromi *****
***** from ************ referred your name and spoke highly of you! My fiance and I are getting married on Saturday, April 25, 2021 and wondered if you were available? Our wedding theme is galaxy themed and our guests were asked to cosplay as an anime or sci-fi character, such as Dragonball Z, Doctor Who, Sailor Moon, etc. We have a preliminary plan to present our ceremony as a wedding battle. The groom will be a Sun God and the bride is the Moon Goddess. We have preliminary plans to hire a projection company and play out this anime-like battle. We plan on saying few words and using music most time because his family only speaks Spanish and mine speaks Tagalog (Filipino). Do you think you could help us?
You had me at "We plan on saying few words and using music most time..."
I'm not even kidding around this sounds like the best wedding of all time.
Would you rather go stand in a Church and hear two people recite vows in front of a man who literally knows zip about marriage and then go try to get bombed off of well liquor that cuts off during dinner (dumbest fuckin rule ever) while some band butchers Motown songs all night?
Or would you rather watch Doctor Who, Dragonball Z, and Sailor Moon battle each other in the name of holy matrimony?
I rest my case.
So this is basically a classified ad. If you have experience with this sort of thing, and want to go in on it with me shoot me an email. email@example.com. I'll take a small finders fee. Who knows, this could develop into a big business and next year we could be one of the biggest vendors at Comic Con.