As Long As The Browns Beat The Steelers Backups Today, They're In The Playoffs.....What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I was born in 1993. I'm not going to sit here and act like The Drive and The Fumble are two horrifying experiences that I've had to endure in my lifetime. But I can tell you that I was 9 years old when the Browns last made the playoffs, so everything I've ever known has been a combination of heartbreak and embarrassment. And honestly, if my memory of the Browns were a recipe, it'd be like 1 part heartbreak and 50 parts embarrassment. My recollection of my team has nothing to do with big turnovers in AFC Championship games. It has more to do with leading 39-37 with 0:00 on the clock, only to lose on a field goal because your linebacker threw his helmet in celebration. It has more to do with trading for a QB at the trade deadline, celebrating, and then realizing you forgot to submit the proper paperwork on time. It has more to do with trying a last second game winning field goal in a tie game on Monday Night Football, only to have your rival catch the miss and run it back for a touchdown. It has more to do with drafting a quarterback in the first round that got in troubling for partying too much, so he put on a blonde wig, called himself Billy, and went to Vegas with an inflatable swan. My memories of the Browns comes from 12 different head coaches and 29 different starting quarterbacks since my brain started working. So if you think that the Browns playing against the Steelers backups today gives me ANY hope whatsoever, you'd be incorrect. The Browns can absolutely find a way to blow this game in dramatic fashion against a Steelers team that didn't even bring Big Ben, TJ Watt, Cam Heyward, Joe Haden, Chris Boswell, Eric Ebron, Terrell Edmunds, or Maurkice Pouncey to Cleveland. The only question is: will they?

The other question here in: does the good Lord believe in second chances? Because the Browns have already blown one golden opportunity to end this playoff drought when they played the 1-13 Jets last week. But a combination of 53 pass attempts with no wide receivers lost us that one, and now we're in a Must Win game in Week 17. And once again, it appears the world just isn't ready for a Browns playoff appearance. Contact tracing made us play without any starting receivers last week, and this week it doesn't look any better.

And that's just for now. I can't wait to see which Browns insider breaks the news in the morning that we've had another positive test. It's happened every single day this week. How many times did we even practice this week? 1?

But none of that will be an acceptable excuse if this team finishes the year with two straight losses to the 1 win Jets and a Steelers team without their starters. With a loss today, the Browns will go back to being what we’ve been for the last 20 offseasons: the laughing stock of the NFL. I know this is a Must Win game for the Browns playoff chances, but this is a MUST win game for the Browns organization. I’ve heard people say they’d be proud of 10 wins either way. Listen folks, yes I’d take 10 wins if you offered them to me at the beginning of the year, but that’s way too much a big picture view. Reevaluate that statement in the present moment. Losing today would be absolutely unacceptable. There are no exceptions.

And unfortunately it appears to be shaping up just like the director of a horror movie would want it to. Had our chance vs the Jets, lost. Now at home vs a bunch of backups. Easy win, right? Yeah until that backup is literally about to play in the biggest game of his life, one in which he has more motivation to win than any other possible game could.

I’ll be honest, part of me is really nervous that the football gods get us back today for what Myles Garrett did. Whether that just be for breaking the unwritten rule of attempting murder on the football field, or for what Mason Rudolph is accusing that Myles Garrett made up for the reason why. But either way, this game means a whole lot more to Mason Rudolph than a meaningless Week 17 rest vs rust situation. I can already see his punchable face now, sitting in the postgame press conference laughing and saying what goes around comes around, wishing us luck next year. Ew I’m gonna puke. I do NOT like that Mason Rudolph is starting this game. This is too much like a movie, and this movie would not end well for the Browns.

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But it is what it is. Looking at both team’s situations, I’d rather have the Browns roster today than the Steelers. I’m going to take Cleveland today because Vegas is telling me we’re 10 point home favorites, but I’ve been around this organization long enough to know that anything can happen. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Let’s go Browns.