NEW: Bussin' With the Boys Dad Merch CollectionSHOP NOW

Advertisement

Did You Know The 2015 Phillies Have Already Lost More Games Than The 2011 Phillies?

shitty

shitty1

Philly – It’s the most losses for a Phillies team before the break since the Midsummer Classic began in 1933, 82 years ago. The Phils (29-62) entered play Sunday tied with the woeful ’97 team, which went 24-61 before the break.

Wow. You can’t even be mad at this level of dogshit. In only 4 years this franchise has went from its best regular season team to its worst (assuming they don’t win out and make the playoffs, wishful thinking, I know). It’s like watching a car crash at 5 mph, and it may never end. I mean, there’s really nothing more you can say. The Phillies are statistically last or close to the cellar in every major category. The likes of Franco, Nola and JP Crawfod gives some hope, but Christ, at least get something for Hamels and Papsmear before their wings fall off. Which WILL happen because, you know, Philadelphia.

Other fun facts about this team that’ll make you go, “I knew they were bad, but not THIS God awful (some facts compliments to @RyanLawrence21):

The Milwaukee Brewers are the next worse team in the majors…and have 10 less losses than the Phillies.

Since the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend, they are 10-36. I repeat. 10-36.

The team’s run differential is a putrid -160. The next worst team? The White Sox at -73. The MLB Cardinals hold the league’s best at +91. If my math is correct that means the Phillies are, carry the two, shouldn’t even be labeled as a professional baseball team.

The Phillies rotation is 3-22 with a 6.93 ERA in 38 games since June 1. Their starting pitchers have failed to pitch at least six innings in 20 of their last 26 games.

This team is on pace for a franchise worst record 112 losses. The record is 111 set in 1941. Again, THE MOST LOSING TEAM IN MAJOR SPORTS HISTORY IS CURRENTLY HAVING THEIR SHITTIEST SEASON IN OVER 130 YEARS. Let that sink in to your soul.

Advertisement

On top of everything, the best (albeit most dickish) player on the team can’t stand it here and is using his role as the only Phillies representative at the ASG to get the fuck out of town. I’d like to say shut up and pitch, but he’s got a point. FIRE EVERYONE.

I HATE THIS TEAM.

PS – Roy Halladay seems to be enjoying retirement life spending ample time taking pics of fatties outside of Wal-Mart. All righty then.