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Giants. Cowboys. Winner Gets In The Playoffs (*If Washington Loses But Whatever)

LET'S ROLL BABY!!! It's Week 17 and the New York Football Giants have a chance to win the NFC Football East. Forget about all the dirty little particulars behind what makes that sentence possible. After the last few years in the shitter, the Giants can host a playoff game next week if they win and Washington loses. Goddamn that feels good to write. And for the Sad Boy Giants fans that only care about draft picks, don't worry, today can be fun for you too since there is a scenario where the Giants can make it into the Top 3 of the draft with a loss.

Based on my careful calculations, this involves multiple shitty teams with nothing to play for beating multiple playoff teams with something to play for. But being in the race for the playoffs and a Top 3 pick is true galaxy brain stuff. 

Did Gettlefinger do it again or did Gettlefinger do it again?!?

Regardless of if you want the Giants to make the playoffs or get a better draft pick, I think/hope all Giants fans can at least root for the scenario where Big Blue knocks the Cowboys out of the playoff race.

Now I'd love to say that the Cowboys are trash and we should rip through them. But I've watched enough of those assholes to know that their offense and defense is clicking right now. Andy Dalton is playing better than the two backups that my brain has deleted from my memory that filled in for Dalton when he was hurt/sick. It turns out having three really good wide receivers is good for an offense. Since the NFL is allegedly a copycat league, I hope the Giants copy getting a receiver on the level of the guys wearing stars on their helmets soon if not for my sanity's sake than for Daniel Jones' sake.

Speaking of Jones, I used all my New Years wishes up hoping that this quote was just a case of playing possum.

However, there is a real chance that we won't be seeing Danny Scoots the rest of the season and have to rely on Danny dropping dimes from what will likely be a crowded pocket since Dallas' defense has started playing better like their offense. I would say that this is the perfect spot for the Jason Garrett Revenge Game since he made a habit out of knocking the Cowboys out of the playoffs late in the season. However, that Browns game killed any faith I had of Revenge Games being real.

Instead of revenge, the X-Factor today is the weather.


We shouldn't worry about this though because in true Coach Judge form, we are ready for whatever is being thrown at us thanks to the work we did during the season.

Every player, coach, and even fan should be prepared for today because of what we did earlier in the year.

I imagine the rain will start coming down once it gets warmer. But as of now, we have snow falling at MetLife which at the very least has me ready to run through every wall in my house that I haven't already run through while writing this blog.


Coach Judge may be our fearless leader that has us all ready to dive into a foxhole and jump on a grenade for. But I cannot ignore another huge X-Factor for today, which is whether or not Mike McCarthy smashed watermelons in the team hotel last night. Honestly, you can probably just call the game based on that information alone.

The final and probably biggest X-Factor is which team holds the good juju. I don't know if it's possible for someone like Jerry Jones to have good juju considering some of the rich person things he has likely done behind the scenes. But there is no chance the Boys have better mojo on their side than the Giants considering this young man turns 40 years young today.


No but seriously, #PrayForDallas


Giphy Images.

I guarantee Troy Aikman isn't calling this game naked from MetLife today. Advantage: Giants

But seriously, if the Giants can't beat the Cowboys in a Must Win game with the playoffs on the line on Eli Manning's birthday while he wears his birthday suit on what I imagine is a very expensive, cold, and sticky leather couch, the Football Gods are clearly done smiling upon Elisha Nelson Manning and this is a world I simply do not care to live in.

As for the other game that is important in the Giants fate, it's not looking great just based on the injury reports!


Giphy Images.

However as someone who has watched plenty of those two teams in his life, I can tell you two things:

1. Never count in a team owned by Daniel Snyder since I think every human and Football God hates his guts

2. As long as Boston Scott is playing, the Eagles have a chance

I've been saving this song all season for when we really needed it and I'd say before a game that can vault us into the playoff counts!

Go Giants…..(go birds)!!!