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Why Does Barstool (And Other Websites) Blog About Dick Pics?: A Closer Examination

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This one might be too inside baseball but some of you’ll be curious and we’ve got time to fill so why not? Above is a simple question posed the other day in the comments on an end of day blog I did about Tyga allegedly sending dick pics to a transgendered porn chick. And normally, no offense intended, I don’t put a lot of stock in the comments because since the new site launched it’s been a festival of trolls and it’s not my job to deal with that any more so why even bother? But in this case I figured we could run an experiment, it’s the AP psychology kid in me. Do people really care about blogs like this? It’s a gossip blog on Barstool SPORTS of all places — the horror — about a rapper banging Kylie Jenner having a tranny side piece. How relevant is it to our readers?

 

So I put in the blog this line:

judgment

 

That’s a crystal clear disclosure of what you’re getting by clicking here: Access to a rapper’s dick in a text message and a bonus tranny dick. And I’m not joking when I say “No judgment”; we’re all human, we’re on the Internet killing time, people get curious, whatever. Do Tyga and the tranny’s dicks add anything to the story? Not really. But, while it’s not necessarily a reflection on your personal interests either, it does complete the news item so I get why you’d want to check it out. So I usually leave it out there for you to choose, same as when some chick has naked photos leak. Of course, me choosing to write about it gets the usual responses:

 

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According to the comments on blogs like this, I or some other blogger am the gay one, still so high off the adrenaline from being able to suck and fuck all the dicks in the name of legal marriage that I just needed to keep the momentum going with Tyga’s smiley emoticon-inducing dong. And that’s fair, as a reader you can make your own conclusions. David Chase didn’t explain the ending of The Sopranos so I’m not explaining the daily works of art I put out there either. But did anyone else besides me really care about it?

 

Here’s how many people clicked to see the clearly disclosed dicks linked in that blog:

 

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By comparison, the blog itself was viewed by 54,000 people since going up according to our internal analytics (which, without revealing too much, is also a lot more than say some blog about local sports team X). And as far as people clicking a link inside a blog, that’s a MASSIVE percentage, almost 90% of people reading it were like “Fuck yeah, hit me with those dicks” or, more likely, “Fine I guess I’ll go look at some dicks now.” Either way, the point still stands, dicks for all.

 

But this isn’t a scolding blog or anything, just a statement of facts. You want to call me gay for writing about this stuff, that’s fine; at this point being at Barstool for over a year and working online way longer, I’ve learned to live with it. But just know that you and the rest of the Internet collectively love dicks and other voyeuristic things they feel like they shouldn’t see every single bit, if not more, than I do. So let’s just all love shamefully clicking to see Tyga/tranny dick together and stop playing coy, you closet cases.

 

In conclusion, God bless Tyga’s dick and God bless America Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 1.31.50 PMScreen Shot 2015-07-08 at 1.31.50 PMScreen Shot 2015-07-08 at 1.31.50 PM!