The Barstool Golf Time App | Book Tee Times and Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

To The German Commander, NUTS! Remembering The Battle Of The Bulge On The 76th Anniversary

Today marks the 76th anniversary of the Battle of the Bulge, one of the most decisive engagements leading towards the end of World War Two. In case you're unfamiliar with it, which I doubt since you clicked the blog, here is a quick summary. After the allies landed in France, the writing was on the wall for those Nazi scumbags. We had a foothold there and were starting to push through into Northern Italy, while the Soviets had repelled them at Stalingrad the year previous and were flying through eastern Europe. 

Hitler drafted up a idea to essentially do one massive counter-offensive in the middle of the Western front with the goal of splitting up us and the Brits. The dumb asshole figured we would both quit after that, and then he could focus on repelling the Soviets and rebuild their reserves. So on December 16th, 1944, 400,000 troops poured through the lines, and caught the allies mostly by surprise. They put us on the back heel, and pushed past/surrounded the town of Bastogne, which was occupied by the 101st Airborne, the African-American 969th artillery, and part of the 10th armored division. This is where one of my favorite historical moments happened. 

The German commander, Heinrich Freiherr von Lüttwitz, sent the American commander, Brig. Gen Anthony McAulliffe this long ass letter saying to surrender. 

To the U.S.A. Commander of the encircled town of Bastogne.

The fortune of war is changing. This time the U.S.A. forces in and near Bastogne have been encircled by strong German armored units. More German armored units have crossed the river Our near Ortheuville, have taken Marche and reached St. Hubert by passing through Hompre-Sibret-Tillet. Libramont is in German hands.

There is only one possibility to save the encircled U.S.A. troops from total annihilation: that is the honorable surrender of the encircled town. In order to think it over a term of two hours will be granted beginning with the presentation of this note.

If this proposal should be rejected one German Artillery Corps and six heavy A. A. Battalions are ready to annihilate the U.S.A. troops in and near Bastogne. The order for firing will be given immediately after this two hours term.

All the serious civilian losses caused by this artillery fire would not correspond with the well-known American humanity.

The German Commander.

McAulliffe was understandably not enthused. 

The Division Operations Officer, Lt. Col. Harry Kinnard recalled that McAulliffe initially asked, "They want to surrender?" Moore told him, "No sir, they want us to surrender." McAulliffe arose and erupted in anger, which shocked those looking on. He took the paper, looked at it, said "Us surrender, aw nuts!" and dropped it on the floor.

Instead of making a full reply of defiance or negotiation, Lt. Col. Harry Kinnard suggested to just reply with with that. So the following reply was drafted:

To the German Commander.

NUTS!

The American Commander.

Can you even imagine the balls on these guys? Encircled and surrounded by crack Panzer troops, freezing cold and low on supplies. No guarantee of relief or reinforcement. 

All that, and he basically hit that Nazi fuck with a TLDR. 

Legend.