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Tom Cruise Is Not Fucking Around: Threatens To Fire Everyone On Set Of Mission Impossible For Violating COVID Protocols (FULL AUDIO)

I may not be the movie guy around here but I am most certainly the SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS GUY and in that respect I'm a bonafide expert. All you needed was Cody Parkey to shank one sub-40 yard field goal last night to be reminded of this fact. 

While on subject, yes I still hate his fucking guts. 

But this time is different. This time we're talking about jobs and saving the industry. Absolute fucking chaos coming out of Tom Cruise's mouth. Some highlights. 

1- I’m on the phone with every f***ing studio at night, insurance companies, producers, and they’re looking at us and using us to make their movies. We are creating thousands of jobs you motherf***ers.

The idea of Tom Cruise chopping it up with some insurance brokers from Aon is fucking RICH. Insurance guys love love LOVE to use their big boy lingo and I can 100% see Tom Cruise being competitive enough and dialed up on enough vyvanze to hang with every word. You don't get nuanced policy language past Tom Cruise, not when it comes to global risk management. 

Also, anytime you can take credit for creating jobs, you take credit for creating jobs. That's American Democracy 101 and you don't need to remind Tom Cruise. He doesn't have time to be reminded. He's busy creating jobs. 

2 - I don’t ever want to see it again, ever! And if you don’t do it you’re fired, if I see you do it again you’re fing gone. And if anyone in this crew does it - that’s it, and you too and you too. And you, don’t you ever fing do it again.

I love when someone gets really mad at a large group and then they start singling people out in the process. White Sox Dave does that shit to us all the time and it never gets old. It's just a different level of passion to be all pissed off and then drill down into a couple individuals ISN'T THAT RIGHT CHIEF YOU MOTHER FUCKER. That's the soundtrack to my day-to-day life and I love it. Tom Cruise just completely ruining the next 5 years of some poor guys life because his mask doesn't have full coverage. It's the extra "And you" at the very end that gets me. That was terrifying. 

3 - Do you understand what I want? Do you understand the responsibility that you have? Because I will deal with your reason. And if you can’t be reasonable and I can’t deal with your logic, you’re fired. That’s it. That is it.

I'll be honest Tom. I don't know what you want. The way you phrase that is very confusing. It almost makes me wonder if you know what you want. Sure there's a lot of responsibility at stake here but that doesn't mean we can just start talking in circles about mumbo jumbo. What's the difference between reason, being reasonable, and logic? I thought we were talking about COVID here guys. Wordplay is a completely different story. I will not be responsible for any confusion Tom brings on himself here. Clean it up buddy. 

4 - No apologies. You can tell it to the people that are losing their f'ing homes because our industry is shut down. It’s not going to put food on their table or pay for their college education.

You really should go check out the full article because these are just the highlights. But for now this is a perfect way to conclude our Tom Cruise blog. He goes to sleep at night saving people's homes and keeping marriages going. Just last week over 2,000 people had sex just because of Tom Cruise's efforts on Mission Impossible 7. Does that not register with your brain? I sure fucking hope so, dude. We're paying for college one socially distanced take at a time and Tom Cruise won't hear different. OTHERWISE YOU'RE GONE. OUTTA HERE.