[Post] - A love-struck British Romeo has been jailed for breaking strict lockdown rules — by riding a Jet Ski for four-and-a-half hours across the Irish Sea to visit his new girlfriend, according to reports.
Despite never having ridden a water scooter before, Scotsman Dale McLaughlan, 28, bought one just for the madcap trip to visit a woman on the Isle of Man whom he met on a previous work trip there, the BBC said.
Quick question, is this the horniest dude of all time? He might be. Traveling 4.5 hours for anything is pretty demanding, doing it by jet ski? Insane. Especially true when you've never ridden a jet ski before. Jet skis are awesome. They are a ton of fun. There's a reason you can only rent them at the Jersey Shore or Ocean City, Maryland for 30 or 60 minutes. Your ass is going to feel that ride for days.
Now while we can debate the horniness of this dude and we will, there's one thing we can't debate. He STINKS at geography and directions:
McLaughlan — who arrived unlawfully on the island after he was denied permission to go back — later said he expected his 25-mile trip from Scotland’s Isle of Whithorn to take about 40 minutes.
It instead took him four-and-a-half hours on Friday — with a 15-mile walk at the end to get to his new beau’s home in the Isle of Man’s capital, Douglas, the broadcaster reported.
How does a 40 minute trip take 4.5 hours?!? That's insane. Did he just flat out miss the target of where he was supposed to park the jet ski? There's zero chance I'm walking 15 miles for anything besides maybe a Kentucky win. That's only because I'm desperate right now. You can't even have sex after that sort of trip. You just need a solid shower and a long ass nap. Going from the jet ski to a walk is just the worst way to travel.
Strong defense from the attorney of this guy though
His defense attorney told Douglas Courthouse that the roofer was suffering from depression from not being unable to see his new partner, who was not identified in the report.
It's a valid argument strictly because of the new angle. Nobody that's been dating for more than like 2-3 months can get away with this sort of argument. The honeymoon phase is gone. Surprise sex is now missionary Monday and that's only if you're lucky. It's both people wearing sweats and figuring out ways to get away from the other person. But new partners? Well, that's when it's all fun. That's how you end up traveling for 4.5 hours just to see this new girlfriend.