Barstool Golf x THE PLAYERS Championship Collection | SHOP NOW

Cops In Belgium Broke Up A 60-Person Birthday Orgy Where Everyone Paid $300 To Participate

[Sun] - A DRUG and booze-fuelled birthday bash with 50 naked guests - including prostitutes - has been raided by cops for flouting lockdown rules. 

Police believed about 20 people would be there, but when they burst into the party they discovered 50 pleasure-seekers inside. The party-goers, who were all naked and French, had chipped in £230 each for the orgy to cover costs of alcohol, drugs and escorts.

All guests were fined £230 by police - the same amount they paid to take part in the lockdown flouting romp-fest.

You almost have to give credit to these people. There are lockdowns across the world. We're in the middle of a pandemic. But a 28th birthday party only happens once. There's only way to celebrate that too. A massive orgy. What is it about Europe and orgies by the way? Remember this story a couple weeks ago? 

Now I'll admit. I'm not an orgy guy. That might surprise you. But there's too much going on. I prefer to disappoint one single person in bed and then fall asleep before getting dressed and watching TV. But a 50-person orgy? First off, how do you get that off the ground? Clearly there was money spent to get groceries, alcohol and escorts. Is that all just paid via Venmo? Gotta be right. You don't want that much cash, that means you have to go to a bank and going to banks or really any place with a line sucks.

I'm just thinking about me and my friends though. Trying to get 8 people to commit to a time for a tee time or set up what people are bringing or time they are showing up for a summer barbecue? It's impossible. There's always people showing up late. There's always the one guy who refuses to fully commit to the tee time. And that's all to get away from people or stop by and have some beers and food. This isn't sitting there going 'hey who wants to get butt ass naked, fuck a bunch of people and have some queso and chips?' Although, the more I think about it, the more hot food has to be the scariest thing in an orgy. You can't risk burning your tits and dick off. 

Back to the set up of this orgy. How do you RSVP? You don't want to be on that big of a text or e-mail chain, right? Maybe an old school Facebook group? Remember those back in college, when Facebook was cool? You'd set up some private event and it actually worked to get the word out because everyone had flip phones and group texts didn't really work or it cost .10 cents a text. Man, I still think about the moment I got the uky.edu email address and got to sign up for Facebook. A moment that people under the age of like 31 don't understand. 

Gotta hand it to the cops here though for the sense of humor. Hitting everyone with a fine for the amount they paid to participate in the orgy is grade A comedy. Clearly there's no base fine for a mid-pandemic orgy. So slapping them with the same amount just doubles the fun. Imagine walking in thinking you're just breaking up a 20-person orgy and there's 50. That's gotta be a jarring experience.