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Jake Paul Is The Scum Of The Earth And I Still Want To Push His Shit In

 

I know Conor McGregor isn't the shiniest penny in the coin jar. But he's a fighter who rose from getting welfare checks to becoming a worldwide superstar. The guy has his share of dirty laundry, but Jake Paul coming out of nowhere and talking that kind of trash about a man's family is egregious. A fight contract that big has got to have stipulations for McGregor, stuff like "Do not kill Jake Paul in the ring after he called your wife a four." 

If there's one thing that would stop Jake Paul and his antics it would be losing a boxing match against a nobody on a national broadcast. This is where I come in. Here's a new plan on how we get Jake Paul to fight me. If I somehow contact Dana White and Rob Gronkowski (former PMT guests) and get them to say, "Jake Paul you're a waste of everyone's time go fight Billy Football for some reason."

It would quickly become "Didn't you shit your pants at a Kent State Frat Party" for Jake Paul. Every time he tries to challenge a new person it would be the ultimate STFU. "Hey why are you ducking Billy? Are you too afraid to fight Billy? You know Billy Football, that tall drink of water, why don't you fight him instead?" 

Jake Paul knows he is not that good of a fighter, there are plenty of names that would tear Paul apart in the UFC besides McGregor. He's fighting for clout. Me? Never.

 

I just want to body this dude.

Remember, that's him standing in the foreground. His small frame can only hold 189 lbs. completely roided up. I can cut down there and have more mobility and stamina. I'm already training just waiting for this coward to accept my offer. 

If this strategy doesn't work I might have to rap. But I'm saving that for a "just in case" type of deal because I know it would be hella cringey.

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