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Amazon Driver Dumps Packages Into The Woods And Tells The Cops It Was Just Dumps He Was Tossing In The Woods

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Police in South Jersey charged an Amazon driver after they spotted him allegedly tossing packages from a delivery truck into a wooded area.

A Logan Township police officer was on patrol Nov. 2 when he saw an Amazon van parked on the southbound shoulder of Route 130 near Jackson Street.

He spotted the driver, later identified as Desmond Gould, 23, of New Castle, Delaware, throwing a large box from the van into the woods off the roadway.

Gould first told the officer he was “throwing his feces into the woods,” according to his affidavit of probable cause. After having Gould retrieve the tossed box, the officer found he was dumping undelivered packages. Eleven packages with a total value of $288.87 were found.

People get so fucking mad when an amazon, FedEx, or UPS driver makes a tiny little mistake. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine every single day waking up and knowing that youre gonna do the same damn route, at the same damn time, and get off at the same fucking time every single day. It's package after package after package. People just buying up all the cheaply-made Chinese toys that make so much noise.You know good and damn well what's in those boxes because some are coming to your house, and you know good and damn well that you hate all the noise, noise, noise. These boxes will add to it. They'll make shrieks and squeals racing round on their wheels, they'll dance with ting-tinglers tied on to their heels. They'll blow their blue-toppers, they'll bang their ta-tinkers. They'll blow their Who-whoopers, they'll bang their gar-dinkers. They'll beat their drum-dinkers, they'll slam their slew-slumpers. They'll beat their flung-floppers, they'll slam their who-wunkers. And they'll play noisy games like zoo-zinger-car-zay -- a roller skate kind of lacrosse and croquet. Then they'll make ear-splitting noises galooks on their great big electro-who-cardio-shnoox. And you wont get nary a compliment or a peppermint for that matter. And when Christmas is over, there will be no more chatter of that shit that you took deep in the woods or in the back of your truck that is covered in scat and clam chowder. 

People want to blame you for a Christmas gone bad and that's not fair because of the year that you've had. People forget that you delivered so many things- from toilet paper to value-sized Listerine. A pandemic is here and that pandemic be damned. Jeff Bezos said you had to deliver the record demand. You didn't get a raise while his wealth grew thicker and the thought of delivering just one more box made you sicker. Sicker than sick and you're tired of it. So you grab that one box and throw it down a hill. It tumbled and fumbled away; oh what a thrill. Youll lose your job and that's fine. Delivering packages for another day? I'd rather live six months on just one dime. 

PS:

Amazon Boss: Hey dude. Where are all those packages?

Driver: