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Would You Break Both Of Your Legs And Spend Tens Of Thousands Of Dollars To Be Three Inches Taller?

This isn't a new surgery by any means but it's something that is extremely fascinating to me. Being short is just one of those things people let define them to the point where they end up doing crazy shit like trying to take over the world by eradicating entire races of human beings one by one. Or you start a newspaper that turns into an internet blogging company. Those are really your only two options.

But this type of surgery should be way more effective for all the hassle. 5'4" to 5'7" is like if I went out and got a procedure to get a fuller beard. Like yeah my beard would look better but the top of my head would still be bald as hell. Didn't accomplish a goddamn thing. You should have to pay zero dollars for a surgery that breaks both of your legs and results in you being 5'7". That's so insulting I'm getting angry on behalf of all you shorts reading this. I'd rather just be 5'4" and be able to use my legs. If I'm getting this surgery I need to be at least 5'11" regardless of my starting point. 5'11" is tall enough to lie about being 6' and if you're shooting up from 5'4" you'll take that every day of the week. THAT is worth the money.

For the record, this doctor did exactly nothing to dissuade me from the perils of this procedure. Oh man you might get some arthritis earlier than normal! Bro every single person on the planet is trading being short for arthritis. Literally everyone. Having actual diagnosed arthritis in most states right now is just a faster way to get a medical marijuana card. So now I'm tall AND can smoke per my doctor's orders? What a tremendous change of fortunes. 6'8" here I come!