J-Law Lays Down The Law and Introducing Lacey Banghard

When was the last time you felt violated?

And I don’t mean violation in the way your wife aggressively turned innocent ass play into a full-blown (and consensual) pegging on her birthday. 

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I mean violated in terms of someone or some group of people totally failing to respect your privacy, and then disrespecting and/or embarrassing you in the process. 

I have a personal example that immediately leaps to mind and a non-disclosure agreement for a worthwhile sum of money is all that prevents me from airing it out. 

God!… I wish I could expose those douchebags. 

But getting away from that incident, I just recently was reminded of a violation that took place years ago that I was actually a part of… And it wasn’t until last week that I really felt remorse for my teeny-tiny role in the event. 

In 2014, some hacker leaked that he had successfully gained access into DOZENS of major celebrities’ phones and that he was going to release the most private photos from them at a specific date and time. 

The event became known as “The Fappening” which is a crude portmanteau of the words “happening” and “fap” (which means to jerk off). 

When rumors of this impending data breach spread around, everyone who heard about it felt 1 of 3 ways… 

  1. I can’t wait for this to fappen. 
  2. I don’t believe this is going to fappen… It’s just another internet scam.
  3. I don’t give a shit. 

And then it fappened and people who knew about it reacted in one of only 2 ways. 

  1. You looked at the pictures. 
  2. Or you didn’t. 

Ordinarily, I would like to think of myself as someone who would reside in the second group, but the list of celebs listed as having revealing pics in this data breach was just too attractive. 

Ariana Grande
Avril Lavigne
Jennifer Lawrence
Kate Middleton
Jude Law
Kirsten Dunst
Miley Cyrus
Selena Gomez

And most importantly, Kate Upton. 

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Not only Kate Upton, but 2013-14 Kate Upton, who was arguably the most Kate Upton’y of all the Kate Uptons. 

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That alone was enough for me to venture onto the mega-forwarded link with a simple click, and, as with most things pornographic, the experience of looking at any of those pictures was unsatisfying and downright creepy. 

However, I wouldn’t say I regretted looking because the pics were a major topic of discussion in the days before and after The Fappening fappened, so I was able to at least converse with co-workers, friends, and random kids in the schoolyard near my van about the celebs contained within. 

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So, again, although the "event" itself was a letdown, I had no regrets taking part in it, and chalked it up to a “no harm, no foul.”

Except people were harmed.  

A TON of people. 

Fast forward to just last week, and Vibbs and I are recording the Twisted History of Sex Tapes.  We are telling multiple stories of people like Kim, and Paris, and Teen Mom, and Octomom, and Tonya Harding, and Amy Fisher, and a couple more who all “leaked” their sex tapes for publicity. 

Then, on the other side of the spectrum, there were an equal amount of people whose tape release was a perfect example of the violation word I used above. 

The wrestler Paige was an example of the latter because the embarrassment and stress that resulted from her tape going public drove her nearly to suicide and certainly to experience stress-induced anorexia and baldness… (I have only experienced the latter of those last 2).

And then we covered The Fappening

And it wasn’t until I heard a quote from one of the violated actresses, Jennifer Lawrence, did I really understand how someone like her felt to have intimate moments shared in the least intimate way. 

She said in regards to the event, "It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime." … And… "I feel like I got gang-banged by the fucking planet."

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And because of that, if The Fappening: Part 3 ever rolls around I can confidently say that I will be in the group of people that will NOT look. 

Unless, of course, they get hold of some Paula Deen pics… I adore that racist butterball. 

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Take a report. 


Now that the blog is over, you may be asking…

"You mentioned The Fappening Part 3, Large?… You mean there was a Part 2?"

Yeah… There was a second installment of this global gang-bang that dropped in 2017, but nobody was impressed by the star power within.  TBH, the only thing I learned from Part 2 is that there is a mediocre British glamour model named Lacey Shameela Banghard, whose real name is refreshingly Lacey Shameela Banghard.

And please don't think I am trying to be mean by calling Banghard "mediocre"… She is just up against tough comps with these other British Page 3 girls.



The Twisted History of Sex Tapes is real and it's spectacular…