Yesterday I asked my Instagram followers (@dana_beers, always market) for some advice on how to improve my swing. When you are lucky enough to have a platform like Barstool Sports, it’s nice to be able to ask your crowd for advice. Whether you are traveling to a certain city and need restaurant recommendations, you need an opinion on a hypothetical question, or if you’re genuinely trying to improve your golf swing and desperately need answers. I tried the latter, and it went as expected.
At least my guy was nice enough to call himself fat as well. Although that takes away from the chirp. Need you to commit to the chirp if you're gonna call me a fatso.
Okay right now I'm about 240 pounds in the morning after I take a shit and am completely naked on the scale. I'm 6'4. 6'4, 210 is just too skinny. This chirp is nullified. On to the next.
Now this one I appreciate. I genuinely laughed out loud when I got this message. There were several people being genuinely nice and offering tips about my hip sway and shoulder rotation and all that golf bullshit, but this one was straight and to the point. "Hey Dumpy, did you ever try just being fucking skinny during your swing?" Well done brother.
I’ve presented quite a few Scumbag Golf lessons these past few months, so I understand that my crowd is not going to have all the actual answers. They're usually out there with a Happy Gilmore swing off of a Bud Light with a Marlboro Red in their mouth. It simply is not fair for me to ask my fellow scumbags for actual golfing tips when I’m constantly encouraging them to throw marshmallows in the rough and tee up out of the fairway.
But to blame the fatness for my 17 handicap and flawed swing seems unfair. I understand that I have my ups and downs of obesity. I fluctuate like you read about. I was pretty much Don Vito this summer, but right now I’m currently in a not-that-fat stage. So I think it’s more of a mechanics issue. Maybe a grip thing? My stance? Is it possible they're right and my cone tits are holding back my rotation of my torso? That can't be it. John Daly. Ever fuckin' heard of him? Guy hits dingers and emulates exactly what Scumbag Golf is. So if he can do it so can I. I don't think the blubber is the issue.
I enjoy the chirps on the internet and love a good ribbing, but seriously, if you have any tips for me, please send them my way. Everyone is saying I sway too much. I’ve resorted to taking a huge breath before my shot. It works like 30% of the time which has convinced me that I’m nasty. I post my swing way too much on my instagram stories (ig: dana_beers), and I am welcoming any and all advice. I have a potential Sandbagger Invitational to prepare for and we need to lower that 17.3 handicap boys.