Landon Donovan Celebrates The US Women's World Cup Win By Getting All Betchy On Twitter

Landon Donovan is a 33 year old man. I know, shocking info given that hairline which isn’t a day under 61. How long is he gonna cry over getting dumped? It’s been a year, dude. Move the fuck on. Subtweeting your coach because you got cut, and openly pleading to ride the bench because you just wanted to be part of team like some shitty high school senior who can’t bear another year of JV ball. You couldn’t hack it anymore. You didn’t fit Jorgen’s plan. Quit going on ESPN and talk shows and subtweeting like a high school chick who just got dumped. You want to make the team? Play better. Until then, shut up.

PS – Hey Landon, you play ball worse than a girl.

– Alexi Lalas

Boom, roasted.