If you walk to about 3600 north and 1000 west in the City of Chicago right now, your nose will be greeted with the smell of shit. Lots of it. Lots and lots of shit. You wanna know why?
Because anytime something dies it shits itself one last time. I know this because Eric Cartman taught me it and if there's anyone on earth worth trusting, it's Eric Cartman. He's got a brain like a scientist and a cock like a Burmese python. Remember when he took a dump on Mr/Mrs Garrison's desk to get detention so he didn't have to fight Wendy?
Absolutely fucking genius. GENIUS.
Anyways my point is this: the Chicago Cubs are DEAD and the entire neighborhood of Wrigleyville smells like shit right now because of it. Len Kasper, their HIGHLY revered PxP broadcaster, has bolted to take the Sox PxP gig on the radio, tossing a big ass middle finger to the Cubs, Marquee Network and Wrigley Field. Rumor has it it's because he didn't like how Marquee Net micromanaged and ran things, which is whatever. I don't care. What's important is that he saw an opportunity 8 miles south and said to himself, "Yeah, I want to be a part of THAT. Fuck the Cubs, they're about to be dumpster fires."
I personally won't blame him. Who would want to be a part of that mess??? Not me!
It's honestly pretty hilarious - save for the fact that one of the very best broadcasters in baseball spurned the Cubs to bounce for the south side, it's just crazy to me how the White Sox and Cubs are making bee lines in the opposite direction right now. The White Sox should theoretically be really good for at LEAST 6ish years. The Cubs are letting parts of their World Series core walk in their prime and considered non-tendering their former MVP. If you would have told me in 2016 that these things would happen before the 2021 season, I'd have said you were crazy, that that organization was destined to be a dynasty. WRONG!
Oh well though. I ain't mad at it. In fact I'm waking up laughing my ass off at it. Just a grin from ear to ear. The Cubs fan reactions on twitter were hilarious.
BUT - to boil it down to brass tacks - I have a feeling this may be a pre-cursor to Jason Benetti's days on the South Side being numbered as well. I was skeptical of Jason at first, and admittedly that was solely because I would have been skeptical for whoever Hawk's replacement was, but he's destined for stardom. I wouldn't be surprised if ESPN or whoever poaches him in the next year or two and Kasper makes his way to the boob tube as his replacement in which case the Sox broadcast wouldn't skip a beat. That's sheer conjecture, but Benetti is that highly regarded by the big boys.
Nevertheless, this is hilarious. The last order of White Sox non-on field personnel moves is to get them to snag Dante from the Cubs too. Just gut them from top to bottom. Steal their captain Rizzo too while you're at it while they die a slow, tortuous death. Until that happens, I'll bathe in Cubs' fan tears: