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Dude In A Wheelchair Robs A Bank And Gets Away With It

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ABC NewsIt may not have been the fastest getaway, but police are searching for a man in a wheelchair who robbed a bank in New York City. It happened at the Santander Bank in Queens shortly after 2 p.m. Monday. Police say a man in his late 20s and wearing a grey hoodie wheeled into the bank and passed a note to the teller demanding cash. After receiving over $1,200 in bills, police say the suspect then fled westbound on Broadway in the wheelchair.

If you think this guy is actually handicapped, you are a simpleton. You’ve also apparently never seen a movie or TV. This guy is Verbal Kint. Got police everywhere looking for a guy in a wheelchair when he probably rolled around the corner, ditched that shit, and started walking away as smooth as Keyser Soze. Its genius, actually. Rob the bank as a cripple, make the getaway as an able bodied person. Probably could have used a mask on this one, but lets not split hairs here. The bulk of this guy’s plan is genius.

And if its not some elaborate wheelchair ruse, then this just confirms my theory that its easy to rob a bank. Murdering strangers and robbing banks are two things I think are a lot easier to get away with than it seems. If this dude just rolled up and rolled out with 1200 bucks then its obviously not too hard. And the main reason is that bank tellers dont give a fuck. I dont care if its a guy in a wheelchair, I dont care if its a guy with no arms, I dont care if its a 5 year old blind girl…if someone comes into my bank and says they have a gun and give them all the money, I’m giving them the money. It aint my cash. I certainly dont get paid enough to be a hero. Take all the money you what, bro. I clock out at 5pm. Let the cops deal with this shit. I dont know if I’d even care enough to push the alarm. Whatever.

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So either we’re dealing with a criminal mastermind or just some crippled dude but either way robbing banks aint too hard. Although I gotta say the single most important part of a bank heist is getting more than 1200 bucks.