AFTP- Bo Derek
I wrote a LOOONG overdue eulogy for a very dead Brian Dennehy earlier this week, and while combing through Brian's extensive resumé I mentioned that he got to work with Bo Derek in 2 movies (10 and Tommy Boy), but nearly 20 years apart.
I never mentioned in the blog that Brian Dennehy and Bo Derek also share the same initials. I assume I left that little tidbit out because it means absolutely nothing, BUT since it is in my head, I felt compelled to put it on paper just now.
Here's something else I can't stop thinking about since I mentioned the female BD... When Bo was cast as the perfect ten in the movie "10", I don't remember a single person arguing with that casting.
Bettmann. Getty Images.
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And I am not talking about my small circle of friends. I mean UNIVERSALLY Bo Derek was accepted as being the perfect actress to play the perfect female specimen.
Here's the thing… I am about to show you guys the FINEST shots I can find of Bo back in her absolute HEYDAY, and I think we now might get to a UNIVERSAL conclusion again… But this time that conclusion is that, by today's standards, BO DEREK IN HER PRIME WAS A STRONG EIGHT, at best.
United Archives. Getty Images.Now… Is she a beautiful person both inside and out?
Georges De Keerle. Getty Images.(This one is more of an 8.5… be honest.)
Yep.
Paramount. Shutterstock Images.(she was 40-years-old here)
Has she aged gracefully compared to other surgically altered actresses that seem like they are perpetually caught in a wind tunnel?
Broadimage. Shutterstock Images.Advertisement
(This is from last year… She was 63-years-old at the time)
100%.
But as one of the few old guys here at Barstool, I try to hold onto the olden days… Maybe too much.
Asses From The Past are my favorite things to think about, as is judging some of the despicably whorish female celebrities alive today. So where you might simply say, "Yeah, Large, women are just better looking now than they were when you were growing up." I comb the internet for dated beauties who can brush back whatever young hussy you send up to bat.
photo-platon. Getty Images.I am only now realizing that Bo Derek is just not one of those dated beauties, and I guess I am having a hard time accepting that.
Fuck it… Let's learn a little bit more about her while I have you here.
Bo Derek dropped out of high school at the age of 16 and started dating an unconvicted statutory rapist/Hollywood filmmaker named John Derek. John was married to TV star Linda Evans at the time he met Bo, so he divorced Linda and moved to Germany with Bo so he could have sex with a girl who was not yet 18 (and also 30 years younger than him) without going to jail.
They got married when Bo turned 20, and they stayed married until John's death in 1998.
John Derek had a type… He was married 4 times, with the last three being Bond Girl Ursula Andress, who appeared nude or semi-nude in nearly all of her film roles between 1969 and 1979, earning her the nickname "Ursula Undress"…
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The aforementioned Linda Evans…
And finally Bo Derek…
And Ursula was not the only Derek wife fond of nudity… John directed Bo in an awful romantic adventure film called "Bolero" which received an X rating from the Motion Picture Society, AND, in 1980, Derek photographed Bo twice for Playboy magazine AND she was featured again in the magazine in 1981, 1984, and 1994.
She's passionate about a few things, including animals (dogs and horses in particular) and veterans. She's political, but not annoyingly so.
What I am trying to say is, even if you can GOOGLE image search the words "sexiest Bo" with arguably hotter results than Bo Derek.
(I just did it, and found someone named Bo Krsmanovic.)
(In her case "Bo" is short for "Bojana"… But might also stand for "sexy BOwler".)
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Consider that your results may stand up to the pictures I have shown you here of Miss Derek, but let's check back in on some of your broads in 30 years and see how they have held up.
Bo Derek is a first-ballot Ass From The Past and a reminder that sexiness is a marathon and not a sprint.
Take a report.
-Large
After the Dennehy blog, a handful of people sent me this song, and it's grown on me…
TAR
-L