Tonight is our 5th annual Cyber Monday Telethon. Everything is 20% off at the Barstool store and as per tradition, we're adding some excitement to the mix. While some employees can't be bothered to tweet, I've been buried alive to sell merch. We almost killed General Smitty with a paintball gun. Last year we had Carrabis and White Sox Dave in a radar gun competition. This year it's a Barstool escape room, sponsored by Bud Light Seltzer.
Starting at 7 PM, we will be live streaming the foursome of Brandon Walker, Glenny Balls, Kate and White Sox Dave trapped in an escape room we made at the office. That is one hell of a foursome. We have Brandon Walker who with his anger issues is liable to snap at any second and attack someone in the room. White Sox Dave is one of the dumbest guys on the planet. Balls is Balls. Kate might be their only hope.
They will have 1 hour to complete a bunch of challenges to find the key and escape. If they don't escape, they'll stay trapped and that's where you guys come in. For every $30,000 we sell, that'll add an hour onto how long they're trapped inside the room after the telethon ends. If you guys buy enough, we can trap them in there all night. Imagine the possibility of Brandon Walker screaming at White Sox Dave at 3 AM. You can make that happen.
The telethon and the contest start at 7pm sharp. If you want to kill time as we wait, go buy some merch.