There will never be another Diego Maradona – Rest Easy, King

Sam's Safe Space For Soccer Stoolies

I won’t lie, this news hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. It has been a rollercoaster few weeks for those following the ups and downs of Maradona's health status.

First came his rather mysterious hospitalization that was rumored to have been for a whole host of reasons, but eventually was said to be for a blood clot in his brain.

Next came reports that he was doing a lot better after surgery and being released, leading to celebrations in the streets.

Now comes word that Maradona has passed. If that doesn’t get you a little emotional then all I can say is you never truly knew who the man was or what he meant to soccer.

Maradona was born and raised in a shantytown near Buenos Aires but went on to become a global icon, playing for some of the biggest clubs in the world and carrying Argentina to victory at World Cup… partying his balls off the entire time, and was still living life to the fullest right up until being admitted to the hospital earlier this month.

Maradona represents different things to different people. Like all "great" humans he was complicated. An incredible athlete, a wild coach, an enthusiastic consumer of illicit substances, one of the world's most sensual dancers and a perpetual content machine. A lot of people loved him. Some inevitably did not. But absolutely nobody ignored him.

Oftentimes he could be a hero and a villain all at once – sometimes in the same game. One match against England at WC86 was the perfect encapsulation of the walking, talking, dribbling, scoring, rule-bending contradiction that was Diego Maradona, as he scored one of the most infamous goals of all time in the 51st minute:

and followed it up in the 55th minute with one of the most breathtaking goals of all time:

SAME GAME! FOUR MINUTES APART!!

What an unreal human being. He never once slowed down. He invented "all gas no brakes" just by being himself. 60 straight years of playing soccer, coaching soccer, watching soccer, dancing, singing, sexing, partying and just plain being the living embodiment of a larger than life living legend. I am honestly at a loss for words. Please do me a favor and take the time over the next few days to watch one of the recent documentaries on the life and times of Diego Maradona. Even if you think you know what he was all about, you will NOT be disappointed.

Nothing says GOAT quite like your homeland calling for THREE days of national mourning following your death:

Farewell, Diego Maradona. There will never be another human being like you.

Holler,
Samuel Army