It Looks Like Marcus Morris Wants To Fight Me And Quite Frankly I'm Terrified
I should correct my title because Marcus Morris 100% wants to fight me. Certainly didn't expect a semi-drunk tweet of mine from Friday popping up on the timeline, but here we are. One of the scariest people in the world wants throw hands with ya boy. At least I think that's what "I got 5 for you" means. Could just be looking for a friendly high 5 or wanting to give me five bucks, but I have a feeling he's not pleased with my thoughts and wants to knock me out. Fair enough sir, consider me terrified. Literally anyone else in the NBA tweets that at me and I don't flinch. Paul George threatens me and I just go on with my day. A Morris twin however? Dead. Might need to get my affairs in order and set up the ol' will.
Listen, NBA money makes not one lick of sense to me. Gordon Hayward got $120 million over 4 years for Christ's sake. Morris getting a 4 year for $64 million at this point in his career seems a bit crazy to me. The funny thing about Morris wanting to end my life is I actually love the Morris twins. I tell Clem all the time that you need a Morris to win the NBA title. I did it today in fact!
The ultimate enforcer in today's NBA. Morris was awesome for the brief time he was on the Knicks and wouldn't take shit from anyone. You can see he still has that edge even after being paid. I have no choice but to respect it.
On the bright side, becoming someone a Morris brother wants to fight is kinda cool as long as it doesn't ever happen. Now I just need to pray he doesn't find out where I live. There was that time back in 2015 where him and his brother ALLEGEDLY beat the shit out of their mentor when he sent an inappropriate text to their mom once. Now I guess it'll come down to whether he ranks making fun of his contract up there with an inappropriate text to mama Morris. For the record, the Morris twins were acquitted of any wrong doing here and I strongly believe in the justice system doing its job. They deserved to walk free. The most innocent any two men have ever been as far as I'm concerned. Wouldn't harm a fly, maybe besides the entire Kansas football team he and his brother took on in college.
Sorry Mook, hope you enjoy the nice contract! Anytime I hear my doorbell ring I'm just going to hide under my bed for fun. Knick up.
Update:
We're pals! Unless I'm being lulled into a false sense of safety in which case now I'm more terrified?