Thank God for football. And, even more specifically, thank God for football coaches. At every single level, these people are absolute psychopaths who, without football, would be absolute menaces to general society. I mean this is outrageous. Every single second of this story is absurd. If this happened in a movie you'd walk out due to its lack of believability. Yet here we are, less than a week removed from Mike McCarthy breaking out a sledgehammer and smashing watermelons all over the place, living in the very same reality. And we're just supposed to go on with our lives and pretend like this isn't bat shit crazy. All because of one simple reason: he's a football coach.
When you're a football coach you can do literally whatever you want, as long as you can package it as a way to help win a football game everyone is on board. Long are the days of simply burying a football to get over a bad loss. You want to hold a fake funeral for yourself? Go right ahead. Demolishing watermelons with pictures of the opposition adhered to said melons via violent smashings from a sledgehammer? If you win on Sunday you might get a contract extension. Which is exactly what Mike McCarthy and the The Boys accomplished. Big win on the road to keep the 5-11 division title dreams alive and well. The only real shame here is that McCarthy had been saving this ace up his sleeve for so long. Had he pulled this in Green Bay there's no telling how many Lombardis Rodgers would have above his fireplace right now. Six? Seven? Who knows. The only thing I know for certain is that the Cowboys are now the most dangerous team in the NFC East and by a wide margin. The Eagles, the Football Team, the Giants, none are a match for Mike McCarthy's mighty sledgehammer.