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Scientists Are Still Fucking Idiots, Bro: Japanese And German Researchers Have DOUBLED Monkey Brains In Size ON PURPOSE

Giphy Images.

(NY Post) - Scientists made monkey brains double in size by splicing them with human genes in a “Planet of the Apes”-style experiment.

During the study, Japanese and German researchers injected a gene called ARHGAP11B — which directs stem cells in the human brain — into the dark matter of marmoset fetuses, according to a release about the research.

They found that the primates’ brains soon became more human-like by developing larger, more advanced neocortexes — the area that controls cognition and language, according to the study published in the journal Science in June.

“We found indeed that the neocortex of the common marmoset brain was enlarged and the brain surface folded,” said study author Michael Heide.

I want to take a brief moment to say I'd like to try and take it easy on the nerds right now. A lotta good nerds are out there, grinding tirelessly to make going outside safe again. I have no qualms with those nerds, they're not actively trying to kill us all in the most obvious ways imaginable. These nerds? Excuse me, in the words of Matthew McConaughey, these fucking dorks need to take a hike. How many times do we have to go over this? No reanimating frozen dinosaur embryos, no new mutated fish, and absolutely, positively, NO MAKING MONKEY BRAINS STRONGER. 

How does this keep happening? Have we not learned anything? The one positive I thought we'd be able to take from this year was that we'd try and learn from past mistakes and grow, together, as one. That this was the last tunnel of shit we'd have to crawl through for a while. Nope. Like yeah it's great we have Rona vaccines around the corner. Awesome, truly appreciate the hustle out of everyone working on that. What were these chucklefucks doing while the world was hiding in terror? Fucking injecting stem cells into the mighty ape's noggin and creating the next wave of super soldiers who undoubtedly take over the globe and reclaim the top spot on the food chain once and for all. Unfathomable. Genuinely, truly, unable to fathom such reckless negligence. They're adding more folds to an already evolved brain for NO good reason. Unless you wanna tell me this study is going to lead directly to the cure for all cancers then I think everyone involved must be jailed, right away. These dweebs are a threat to the world at large and if they are not stopped sooner than later we'll never be able to defeat them and their ape army. I know how this story ends and I refuse to sit idly by without doing my part.