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Coach K Has A Secret Twitter Account That He Uses To Spy On Duke Players

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Q: So are you on social media?

Krzyzewski: I follow guys. I don’t want to be on Twitter because I don’t care. I don’t want their opinions. I don’t need to show that I have X amount of followers. But I follow a lot of people on Twitter, under an alias. I tell my guys I’m following you. Then if I see something, you text them, you gotta watch. But there are a lot of cool things that they do. I do like that they do it.

Ohhhh Coach K you sly little weasel. Yeah I’m sure that Twitter is just for watching your players dude, suuuuuree. Just keeping an eye on them, making sure they don’t do anything dumb or whatever, no big deal. Let us have the handle then how about? I mean what’s the downside, you can just make a new anonymous one in like 2.5 seconds right? Could it be maybe you don’t want us to see your list of Favorites? All those PornHub links, the Asa Akira tweets, the XVines you have saved on there for when Mrs. Krzyzewski goes to bad every night and you’re “putting in extra work in the home office”?? Maybe you’ve got a Messages folder that is practically full from all the Duke sorority chicks’ DMs you’ve been sliding into?

Yeah you don’t fool me for one second Mike. You’ve got what like 10 people on your staff, not one of those guys can do the menial task of following players on Twitter? Just admit it, you love creeping chicks on social media and probably being an anonymous troll who makes Obama jokes, it’s cool, I just don’t like liars.