Let me state off top - I AM NOT A GOLF GUY LIKE BANKS - I'm a hack, a shanker, whatever other terms you country club assholes use to alienate and intimidate potential lovers of the sport. That's me. But even though I shoot in the 90s to low 100s, I still love the sport.
Like any other red-blooded American I watched The Masters this past weekend. Sorry to admit, but the thing that interested me the most and that I could get over was Abraham Ancer's caddy.
I expected to see more chatter about him on the twitter. Or for Banks or Caleb to blog it. I even waited 4 days because if there's one thing I've learned the hard way here, it's don't step on somebody else's toes. But not a peep.
Even though I suck at golf, I am friends with some people who don't. I'm in a text group with some good friends that played at Iowa and Loyola ("nice what is that D3 bro?") So I sat out most of the weekend from texting and let them lead the way on the golf commentary.
One of them mentions Ancer's caddy smoking butts on the course and I thought he was fucking around. And then I saw this -
At first, I thought to myself that had to be a tee in that guy's mouth.
Then I did some hard journalistic investigating and found out this man's name is Dale Vallely.
The name Dale fucks no ifs ands or buts about it.
Also, Dale apparently gives no fucks.
There also isn't much online about him and his squares, which needs to change.
I used to caddy back in high school at Worcester Country Club (AA, used to do double bags, 2 loops a day. nbd) so I respect Dale's craft.
What I can't believe is that with all the outrageous uptight rules golf, and Augusta in particular, have, that Dale ripping heaters throughout the match in the year 2020 is totally fine.
This guys a shaggier beard and a few nights sleeping in his car away from being a real life Otto.