HOT GRANNY CALENDAR ALERT!!!!!

MY HEAVENS TO BETSY!!!!! 

I don't fall in love often. I mean, hardly ever. Definitely not once a day.

But this time…THIS time, this is REAL love. I SWEAR. I've never loved a woman I've never met more than I love Hazel Sargent. She's the apple of my eye. The peanut butter to my jelly. The grandma I never fucked but always wanted to.

NY Post - Hazel Sargent is a first-time calendar girl at 80.

Stuck at home during the COVID-19 pandemic, Hazel, from Essex, England, claims she was “bored” when she decided to place her newly purchased produce just so on her nude body. Since March, the grandmother has been forced into strict social isolation due to her bone cancer diagnosis, which puts her at a higher risk of being infected by the coronavirus.

“We’d had our delivery from Sainsbury’s, and I spotted there were two large bits of broccoli and a great big bunch of bananas,” she told Eastnews Press Agency. “I’m a bit silly really but I just had a flash of inspiration, so I gave [my husband] Bob a shout, ‘Can you come and take some photos, please?’ ”

Her dutiful shutterbug hubby decided their backyard garden, secluded from neighbors, was the perfect backdrop for an earthy photo shoot — shots from which would spawn the new Upminster Golf Club 2021 Charity Calendar, to raise money for a nearby hospice. For £10 ($13), donors receive Hazel’s 12 months of seasonally inspired images in which she sports little more than branches, bunny ears or balloons.

“It certainly helped beat the boredom of lockdown,” she said.

What an angel. An absolute delight. When she was bored in quarantine she decided to turn lemons into lemonade and put her newly purchased produce in on her body. Now, I'm not allowed to post the pictures here due to copyright laws, but let me tell you, they are the hottest things since the Great Depression. I don't know how to get my hands on the Upminster Golf Club 2021 Charity Calendar, but I would certainly love one for…research purposes.

I don't know what to tell ya, I'm smitten like a kitten on a mitten right now. Hit me up Hazel. I love you.