Live EventDo you want to own Week 13 of the NFL? Tune in now to the Barstool Sports AdvisorsWatch Now

I Regret To Inform You That New Orleans Has Already Cancelled All Mardi Gras Parades Next Year (Blog Includes NSFW Video Of The Infamous DX Flasher)

COROOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAA! I guess this shouldn't come as much of a surprise considering the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is going to be piece mailed together with no crowd.

If they are killing crowds of a timeless classic for a couple of hours in New York City, they were definitely going to cancel the parade attended by countless maniacs in The Big Sleazy sharing beads, booze, and all sorts of bodily fluids to avoid turning New Orleans into Ground Zero for COVID-20, 21, and 22. 

Luckily I have the sexiest parade moment ever recorded that will cause countless ladies and men to pop their tops and their bottoms at the mere sight of it.

When you think about it, the fact that Mardi Gras actually happened in 2020 is a miracle considering it was snuck in right before the entire country shut down. Miracle may be a strong word because for all we know, that could have spread a bunch of this bitchboy pandemic. But shout out to all those people who got their free beads or peepshow in before fun turned its Out Of Office message on for the rest of the year. 

Now this is the part of the blog where I would put a bunch of people participating in the age old Mardi Gras tradition of bead bartering. However, I'm still not sure of the NSFW rules at Barstool despite working here for roughly five years, so here is the DX flasher chick who was everyone's crush in the late 90s/early 00s, along with the full uncensored video here.

P.S. I'm sure this isn't groundbreaking news to anybody who has been to Mardi Gras, a Mardi Gras themed party, or anything vaguely resembling either. But having beads at a party atmosphere is truly a cheat code for fun. My buddy brought a dozen or so beads with horses on them to the Kentucky Derby for shits and giggles back when I actually did fun things in life and handed them out to everyone in our group. The amount of debauchery that was offered for those beads was nothing short of amazing/terrifying. Of course we donated them all to local orphanages for kids to play with instead of engaging in any of that debauchery. That being said, I'd give anything to go back to that part of my life just for a day. Actually maybe I'd do that once this fun killing virus is gone. But still, everyone in your 20s, cherish those days with all your soul.

Giphy Images.

P.P.S. Now that I think about it, I also went to New Orleans during that same period of my life to watch the Giants play the Saints and I truly cannot recommend a place more than there. Not just because the boozing on Bourbon Street is a blast. But the music and the food is also top notch, even if you don't consider yourself a connoisseur of either, as are the people who were over the top kind and fun to me despite politely rooting against their NFL team in their stadium. A+++++ experience that I again would trade a scary amount of things for to be able to go back and relive in any year other than this year. Again, if you are of the age or have the life that allows you to do fun stuff like that and travel, do it. AND CHERISH IT.

Giphy Images.