Holy Lord I Forgot Just How Big Of A Dickhead Uncle Frank Is In The Home Alone Movies
"Home Alone" and "Home Alone 2" are both instant classic holiday flicks.
Both incredibly re-watchable. John Hughes penning the script always makes for a good movie. The jokes, the plot, the characters, the pizza, the score - all fantastic.
But damn I never quite realized fully what a total douchebag prick Uncle Frank is.
When you're watching these movies when you're younger or just when you're in the holiday spirit every year sometimes don't pick up on all the Frankisms that completely illustrate the scumbag he is.
No I'm not just talking about the "look what ya did ya little jerk" line either. That's always the first one that jumps out because it's so obvious, but there's a few that absolutely blew my mind after a couple rewatches to start the 2020 holiday season.
1. One of the first scenes of the original "Home Alone" when the 12 pizzas show up of course Uncle Frank is the first one to grab them from the pizza delivery guy, and when asked about the $122.50 that's owed for all the pizza OF COURSE Uncle Frank pulls the ol' "oooh it's my brother's house, he'll take care of it" before scurrying away with all his pizza that he's not even going to contribute to.
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2. Shortly after he already ditches out on helping pay, he has the chance once again to chip in for the grand total of the pizza and tells the room he only has "traveler's checks".
There's always that friend or family fucker that's phone "conveniently" doesn't "get" the uber app when it comes time to pay for the ride. That's Uncle Frank to a tee.
3. "If it makes you feel any better...I forgot my reading glasses." Great line. A lot of comedic value. Horrible, HORRIBLE timing after your brother and sister in law just left their kid thousands of miles away. Cmon Frank.
4. When he is laughing hysterically at Buzz for....holding candles above Kevin's head? Only the Uncle Frank of the family would find some nonsense like that to be THAT funny. And then on top of that the clown doubles down at the family apology right after! "Immature or not it was pretty gosh darn hilarious" he cracks as the room is silent. Fuck off Frank.
5. In the same scene he shows just how big of a cheapskate he is and thank god 10 year old Kevin calls him out for it. "Don't you wreck my trip you little sour puss your dad paid good money for it". I mean the fucking nerve of this guy to not only accept another trip from his brother but then to give his son a public tongue lashing about how he better not wreck his free trip. You just know that when the financials of the trips were brought up Frank would hit the decision makers with "ooooh boy I don't know. I don't know if we'll be able to swing that" all the while knowing that's all he has to say for his more well-off brother to swoop in and say "Frank, you're my brother. We're doing this. I got it." It was his plan all along.
Fuck Uncle Frank. The worst kind of relative.