The Cohen Effect: Sandy Alderson Said A Player Told His Agent To Call The Mets After Watching Steve Cohen's Press Conference Today
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The Cohen Effect is real and it's spectacular! I think pretty much every Mets fan expected the franchise to turn 180 degrees by once the bumbling Wilpons signed the team over to the real life Bobby Axelrod in Steve Cohen. But I don't think any of us thought that years and years of LOLMets would turn the Mets from the Elephant Graveyard for free agents to Pride Rock. And I'm not talking about Scar's shitty ol' Pride Rock full of bones and dirt. I'm talking lush meadows with all the antelopes you can eat frolicking about. If you want antelope, your Uncle Stevie is going to give you an entire herd of antelope! In fact, the antelope is going to call their agent and have them go to Pride Rock for the privilege to join the Circle of Life. If that isn't reason for a new shirt, I don't know what is!
I mean any Mets fan who watched knew that was the case and they have all called their doctor because seeing Uncle Stevie talk about gave them a boner/lady boner that is still rock hard four hours later.
As well as the media members who actually used to call out the Wilpons for their bullshit back in the day before it was cool.
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But the fact that Uncle Stevie's press conference is already making waves around baseball instead of just the beaten down fanbase and beat writers is fucking incredible. I refuse to believe this is some bum with a -10 WAR either. I'm thinking it's one of the big dogs on the free agent market, maybe even one that loves seeing someone talk some shit and seem willing to back it up.
The sleeping giant has awoken and he is being led by a mad titan of money.
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Whatever you do though, don't call that titan Mr. Cohen!
JK, I don’t care if you call the Mets owner “Mr. Cohen”, “Steve Cohen”, "God" (which is what I call him). Just don’t call him late for dinner BECAUSE WE ARE SHOPPING IN THE GOURMET FOOD AISLE NOW MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
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We are serving only the finest cake and punch at the parade next year!