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People Forget That Sometimes We Get Our Asses Ate

I am thankful for this reminder. It’s not everyday that you hear a mullleted man waxing poetic about the time he got his ate within a fortnight of thanksgiving. You’re the turkey and she’s giving you the tongue stuffing.

With thanksgiving upon us, let this serve as a reminder that: 

1. There are plenty of fish in the sea if this mulleted zillion beers head ass can end up ankles over head with a licker in his stinker.

2. Ladies, do not assume your man wants his ass eaten. It’s EMBARRASSING having someone sniff around your yard without giving them a chance to police call the berries on the vine. 

3. I’m not a huge earrings guy, no disrespect to Nate, but no one has EVER pulled off feather earrings like this dude. It looks like he was born with those things.

4. There’s something magnetic about his personality. It comes to me as no surprise that people are dying to lick his asshole. Don’t blame them at all. Nature is as natural does.