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The Brits Are Offering Over $1500 For You To Have Sex For 2 Months And See If Certain Plants Make You Horny

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Sun

BRITS are being offered £1,500 and free plants to bonk for two months. Whatshed.co.uk needs three aphrodisiac testers to try herbs, fruit and vegetables said to get you lusting for sex. 

Winners will record where and how often they romp, and which plants, such as horny goat weed, turned them on. The site found 61 per cent are having less sex amid the pandemic. To apply for the job, both partners need to be aged between 25-65 and must live together - and ensure they are allergic to any of the plants.

Covid-19 has certainly forced us to remain indoors instead of enjoying the late night bar scene that we were accustomed to. Gone are the days where we could have a lucky night and end up going home with someone. Now we've resorted to dming and swiping right on a dating app. Not saying any of those three strategies have ever worked out for me, but I imagine this has been quite a dry spell for those that have regular casual sex. The Brits are here to save the day. They are going to pay YOU, to have sex with people AND you're going to get some free plants in the process!

Who doesn't love a good aphrodisiac? No one that's who. So what's the catch? Really nothing. You get 1500 euros, which comes out to a little more than 1700 US, and all you have to do is log how many times you get it on and what plant was in the room at the time. It says the person you have sex with has to live with you, but I'm sure you could hit up a prior hook-up and convince them for the cash.  I mean what else do they have to do? 

This could also be an answer to a couple that is looking to spice it up in the bedroom after dealing with each other all pandemic. I know a few couples that are sick of one another working from home every goddamn day. Here's a nice fun solution! Just have some sex with some horny plants watching in the room and here's your money. 

I've certainly heard of worse ideas in my life. I just had to cancel my debit card because of fraud after finding out a fake nursing center was stealing $100 a week from my account. I was on the phone with Chase for hours yesterday getting switched to departments left and right like they were fucking with me. Not my idea of fun. Would much rather have sex for money.