Is It Worth Being A Big Time Soccer Player If A Smoke Celeb Tells Everyone You Have A Micropenis In Her Book 'Memoirs Of A Whore'?
[Source] - It raised questions about her past, particularly as an adult film actress and her book 'Memoirs of a Whore.' In a passage, the 44-year-old details her brief romance with a mystery player and why she didn't hang about for very long.
Reported by Mundo Deportivo, it read: "When it was almost dawn, the Portuguese player decided it was time for us to go to bed.
"When he finally took off his boxers… This was, hands down, the smallest micropenis I had ever seen . If I had to masturbate him, I would need tweezers, a microscope, and a GPS."
Got a massive debate here raging between the left side of me and right side of me. Being a professional soccer player in Europe is awesome. You're essentially a god living among men, especially if you're good. You're rich. You're always around smokes. You're the cock of the walk. You're playing the most popular sport in the world, not even exaggeration, just a fact that soccer is the most popular sport int he world. Seems pretty awesome - just ask Ronaldo, Messi, Neymar, Mbappe, etc.
But would you take all of that if this smoke writes all about your micropenis? That's a tough thing to bounce back from. You can't have someone out here saying you need tweezers, a microscope and GPS just to find the dick. I don't care who you are, if you're a guy that's the last thing you want out in public. You can handle cumming early. You can handle being below average. You can handle being bald, fat, ugly. But a micropenis? That's BRUTAL.
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Good news though, she won't release the name although she will fire another direct shot insult
She later told magazine Diez Minutos: “I won't say the name nor will I ever say it because I don't want to ruin his life.
"We had intimate relationships on several occasions. He had impressive backs and abs, but he took off his boxers and I was like, 'Bye!'
"This was like a small, lost worm in an Amazon rainforest."
At least he had impressive backs and abs! But the line 'this was like a small, lost worm in an Amazon rainforest' is the meanest thing I've ever heard. It's so descriptive. It's such a visual statement that you know EXACTLY what she's talking about. Now, to be fair, he did at least get to apparently hook up with Mari Cielo, who is a smoke for 44.
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PS: Memoirs of a Whore is an A+ book title. She would not have to go to headline school one bit.
Oh and yeah I'd still take being rich and a pro soccer player for a micropenis that's lost in the Amazon.