Happy 38th Birthday To The GOAT, Devin Hester

Devin Hester is, without question, the most electrifying player to don the navy and orange in my lifetime. I will take that to the fucking grave, and it makes me SICK that he's 38 years old today. I mean where in the fuck did time go? I remember the Bears drafting him in the 2nd round in the 2006 drafted and thought to myself, "okay so they're spending a 2nd round pick on a dude who can't cover anyone and can't catch, but is really, really fast. This will go well (eye roll emoji)." 

Never been happier to be wrong in my life. Dude was a game changer in every single sense of the word, and arguably the best game changer in NFL history from a non QB. If the opposition was forced to punt, he was a threat to take it to the house every single time. If a team was dumb enough to not kick the ball through the end zone on kickoffs and let him receive the ball, he was a threat to take it to the house every single time. He flipped the field constantly and put his (shitty) offenses in a position to put the ball in the end zone non stop better than any non-offensive player in football while he played. 

Advertisement

The opening kickoff in Super Bowl XLI would have gone down as one of the biggest plays in Chicago sports history should they have won the game. The Colts, those fucking morons, decided to challenge arguably the best return man in history and how did that go? Just like this: 

I remember reading the Colts WANTED to challenge him on the opening kick. Lol. Idiots. Goddamnit though, if it weren't raining and if Rex Grossman had bigger hands they would have won that game by 100. Fucking weather gods didn't comply though. Cock suckers.

Get this man in the Hall of Fame. He belongs in Canton. IDGAF if you disagree, you're wrong. Like I said, nobody could change a game better than Devin Hester during his prime. He turned losses into wins almost single handedly. No, he didn't do much else as a football player, but he is without question one of the best returners ever.