It's Time to Check On Your Colon
Que Pasa, Stoolies?
I have decided to catch up with you loyal, disturbed, fine folks to let you know what I've been up to.
We can all admit that 2020 has been a king-size bag of shit. It’s been a tumultuous year, to say the least. Currently, I’ve been treating 2020 & my position at Barstool like a 12 round prizefight. My corner (my wife) has been positive but extremely real with me. Like most good cornermen their job is to keep a fighter's head in the fight and make the necessary adjustments if things aren't going well. They can either throw in the towel if they feel like their champ is going to be eating mashed peas for the rest of their life, or give their man one of those earth-shaking, soul-poking speeches that would crank up a battle tank.
After locking horns with El Prez over the summer, losing my mother this past July to lupus and cancer, watching my brother Brandon Newman hit the eject button me, discovering someone I was extremely close to robbed me for over $30k and, to add to this giant misery milkshake, my weight has ballooned out of control to the point the scale in my bathroom holds its breath whenever I walk by.
So what did my corner (again, my wife) have to say?
"Get your back off the ropes, double up on the jab, and bang the body! DIG! Keep your hands up, and tuck your fucking chin! MOVE!"
Which I took to mean: "Stop being whiny little bitch, press forward, and count your blessings."
God blessed me with my wife and a beautiful healthy baby boy. And I am lucky I am still able to feed my family, even in the midst of a pandemic. My new business venture is still up and running when so many others have closed down. I have food in the fridge, clothes on my back, and family and friends who depend on me.
Losing has never been an option for me, and it never will.
So I’ve decided to pivot and get my ass going. Even though I feel like I may be behind on the judges' scorecards, my ego and grit are still driving me to show some creative range and discover talents that I didn't know I had.
What am I getting at?
Well, I was granted access to start blogging. It’s going to help me express my thoughts and show a different side of Wille Colon. Of course, I will be talking about my time in the league and my opinion on today's NFL. And, if you “Willie Warriors” need more of Ol’ Slick Willie, I'll be sure to write a few more tales from behind the bedroom door starring ME - "El Bandido de Azúcar Morena” (The Brown Sugar Bandit).
And when I can, I'll include a little insight into what’s going on in my community.
YES, I KNOW. "We don't talk politics, Willie… We make people laugh."
Got it, but I will still try to do a bit of both.
And here's how I'll do it:
I’ve been working on a small series called “Game Time Snackin' With Willie.” You can find it on the @goingdeep IG Page and The Going Deep YouTube channel. I realize folks are gearing up every Sunday and throwing down some eccentric and tasty dishes that football loving foodies might enjoy. So I’ve decided to call on my family and friends, like Kate, Chef Donny, and a host of others to display their favorite game-time snack.
Also, look out for ‘Belly Up’, a new cocktail series with me, and the brilliant Large McCarthy. Our goal is to make sure you know how to make (or at least order) the perfect cocktail for the right situation. You're too old to still get caught drinking a Blue Hawaiian at a steakhouse dinner with nine of your business colleagues. The only people that do that are divorced gym coaches from Burnt Corn, Alabama, named Buddy Bear. Don't be a Buddy Bear. Watch 'Belly Up.' We make cocktails and we make sense.
As of right now, the 2 BIGGS Podcast with Brandon Newman and I has been put on hold. Brandon is no longer a part of the pirate ship, and I am currently on the fence if I should carry on with the podcast or let it disappear like Bison Dele, a former NBA center for the Pistons, Clippers, and Bulls who was supposedly murdered while out at sea. But that is more of a story for Large's Twisted History podcast.
Then there is the Going Deep football podcast which drops every Wednesday afternoon with me, Steven Cheah, and our newest member, the man with a thousand impressions, Joey Mulinaro. We talk all things football from week to week including headlines, predictions, etc.
Barstool Breakfast is still going strong from 7-9 AM every weekday. You can catch me and da boys (Patty, Zah, Jetski & Large) just slinging it while you are stuck in the car trying to beat the morning rush.
You know, a hooker from Singapore once told me you never want to get caught blowing yourself. However, if we’re being honest, I think we have the best morning show in the country. Where’s the lie?
I appreciate you listening so far, and I'll leave you with this - I refuse to be a “Romper Room guy”, which is something I heard Dave once mentioned on his podcast describing a Barstool employee who drifts away and finds himself slowly deteriorating by sitting next to General Smitty and Glenny Balls (aka Sgt. Stains).
The thought of becoming that made me want to take a spiked bat to the back of the head. Dark, but true.
So stay with me as I run away from the Romper Room, and, going forward, expect more content. And more Willie.