Last week, Escape Room Mysterium in Utrecht was broken into, but the thieves didn’t seem to be the sharpest tools in the box.
Escape rooms scare me.
"Hey Ethan, you wanna go to an escape room" (completely hypothetical conversation. I don't have friends so no one would actually ask this but please play along)
No chance. This little pea side brain would drown in confusion. I'd never escape. It would be like watching a mouse try and solve a maze WITHOUT a large, cartoonish piece of cheese at the end. You just have to pay far too much attention and, quite frankly, I couldn't bring myself to care enough. Riddles, attention to detail, clues, keys. It's all too much. OMTE would be trapped in that room for days, weeks, months, possibly years.
What makes an escape room a target of a robbery, anyway? It's not like these places are sitting on boatloads of money. Come to think of it, the escape room biz has probably taken a huge hit from the pandemic! No one is going to a heavily interactive, hands-on, close-quarters escape room these days. Anyone who is going to these escape rooms right now should be flagged for pre-crime but that's beside the point. The point is that maybe you should choose somewhere that is actually worth the crime. Not a place where you might find $100 on a good day.
The perpetrators spent a considerable amount of time breaking into an antique safe, which was merely a part of the escape room. After battling with it for a while, they finally opened it, even though the key was hidden around the corner. When they cracked it open they found only riddles and clues, reports DUIC.
Talk about a backfire. These thieves must've worked so hard learning how to crack safes, all for nothing. As someone who is not well versed in safe cracking, you can only imagine it isn't the quickest thing. If they had looked around for about two minutes longer they would've found the key that is literally designed to be found by 12-year-olds. Buffoons.
At this point - when they cracked open the safe and found fucking riddles - you just have to call the authorities on yourself. How can you not tell the difference between a safe that is very clearly a part of the game and a real safe with actual money? Did they think they just left their main safe, containing all the money, in the middle of the actual fucking escape room? Use your brain, one time.
Not only that but now they have to use the riddles to get out. All-time backfire. Not only do they have to worry about being caught but now they have to use their extreme lack of brainpower to solve these riddles. Good luck.
The thieves did walk away with cash (10€), a camera (€400), candy and soft drinks.
Job well done, lads. The big score. Freedom 35.
In all seriousness, these are the worst robbers of all time. Ten bucks and a snickers? Come the fuck on. You could find ten bucks walking down the goddamn street. I don't even get paid and I wouldn't even consider wasting my time for $10. I guess the camera is worth something but the process of trying to get someone to buy it is far too much work considering they just put their freedom at risk.
It's go big or don't go at all when it comes to robberies. Chances are, in the year 2020, if you try to rob a store or something, you're gonna get caught. There's just far too much technology to catch thieves these days so you might as well fucking send it. Go out in a blaze of glory. Make it worth the risk. $10 and a camera that may or may not be worth a lot is NOT worth it. Not by any means.
This is just an inconvenience to the owners of the escape room or anything. They're only mad that they have to replace the camera. They couldn't give two shits about ten dollars and some soda. If tweedle dee and tweedle dum haven't been arrest yet it's only a matter of time. Next up they're robbing a mini-golf course.