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Lululemon (Unofficially) Launches New "Farley" Line

Lululemon is clothing for hot chicks and metro guys who enjoy the finer things in life. 

Carl is a noted proponent of the brand. Mainly their underwear.

I think one of the main deterrents from more males being comfortable shopping for, and publicly wearing Lululemon, is the intimidation factor coupled with the connotations that come along with sporting the brand. 

The gear is for hot people. 

Or at the very least "butterfaces". 

People with rock hard bods that relish showing off every contour possible, which Lululemon just so happens to do better than anybody else. It's the official clothing line of stay at home mom's looking to bang their personal trainers for a reason. There's also a reason anytime you go on their online store the XXL, XXXL, or XXXXL's are always "sold out". (psst, marketing 101, they don't exist) 

Fast forward to this afternoon. A friend of mine, much braver than I, was perusing the jogger section on Lululemon's website. Same old same old for the most part.

Hot studs sporting half-chubs in 100% recycled polyester sweat-wicking fabric. 

I personally like the camo, but feel like if you're gonna go full Lulu you gotta expect a snugger fit than this. These don't really cup the ass like one would expect. 

Another flat ass. Maybe it's the models and not the pants?

Do your pants have an exclusive credit card pocket?

Still not really selling me on why these $118 joggers are better than a pair from the Barstool Store.

 But then when you click on the color black that all changes. 

(finally a model that doesn't skip leg day)

Apparently, my buddy came across a new exclusive line not yet announced. 

The only assumption I can make from this is that Lululemon smartened up and is cashing in on the Covid 15(+) everybody has gained these past few months. 

With gyms closed nationwide people without weight benches in their garages are walking around softer than Roseanne's son (-Weezy). 

And no longer is Lululemon punishing us for it by not catering to the muffin top crowd. 

And the husky guy/dad bod/bear community has rejoiced.

Some reviews that have already trickled in -

"I've never felt so free." - Steve G. (self proclaimed bear from Boystown)

"It's our time. Gonna buy two, tree pairs of dese" - Chuck M. (Beverly)

"Finalamente pantalones para gordos" - Hector J. (Pilsen)

"When life hands you lu lu lemons you squeeeeeze in them!" - Richard L. (Willamette)

"Horn" - Jeff M. (Lakeview)

The Chris Farley line is the most inclusive clothing line to come along since Big Dog Sports

h/t/ greek & morgan