If Ohio State Loses Today I'll Turn In My Two Weeks Notice

Ah, now that seems to have gotten the people's attention. Put this one on the Barstool Bets twitter page, social team. Instead of highlighting some of the frauds in this company living and dying by every $5 bet they make, recreating the infamous Portnoy faint after failing to convert a 3rd down conversion in the 2nd quarter, how about we showcase someone willing to put his entire career on the line for his team? A "My family won't eat unless my family eats" game. And you can say what you want about the Buckeyes being 26 point favorites. What do you want me to do about it? We play the team in front of us. If this were someone good like Alabama or Georgia or Clemson today, I would be willing to make the very same wager. It is simply impossible for this team to not come out and kick the absolute living piss out of someone this afternoon. Not after all we've been through. Not after the referees robbed us in the playoff last year, twice. Not after the Big Ten commissioner tried to shut us down in August. Not after Justin Fields stuck around and started the petition. Not after 2 players left for the NFL because we weren't playing and came back now that we are. There's simply no chance this team doesn't hang a 50 burger on whoever lines up across the ball today. Not today. Could be anyone. It just so happens to be Nebraska.

But before we get any further into this blog, let us pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Like always, I want to first thank you for making me a The Ohio State Buckeye.

Thank you for blessing us with the great Jim Tressel. And when he was wrongfully forced out, thank you for blessing us with the even greater Urban Meyer. And when he was wrongfully forced out, thank you for blessing us with the greatest coach of all time, Ryan Day. Oh, and thanks for giving Georgia Kirby Smart. Because he gave us Justin Fields. What an idiot.

But Father the reason I come here today is not to ask for any more 5-star recruits (we have enough), it is to ask you to please watch over the visiting team this afternoon. Nebraska does not deserve the world of hurt that is about to be unleashed on them in just a couple hours. No one deserves the type of pain and suffering they are about to feel, but especially not a program that was so instrumental in bringing back Big Ten football this season. The crooked commissioner and schedule makers have done them dirty, making them open up on the road in Columbus. This one is going to get ugly, fast. But I don't care if it were Nebraska or the '72 Dolphins rolling into town this weekend. This Ohio State football team is the most talented collection of players in the entire country, and they are a VERY angry football team. There will be blood shed today. Lord I pray that you give those Cornhuskers the strength to get back up and try again. Give them the courage to continuously run that football into a brick wall. Give those defensive backs the determination to keep chasing our running backs into the end zone even when they're 20 yards behind them. God I just ask that while we may crush their bodies today, please do not crush their spirits.

In your name we pray.



Okay, sorry about that. I just get extra religious on game days. God could've placed me in any state in the country, and he placed me in the great state of Ohio. I owe him one. But anyways, yeah, I think you all probably get the picture that I'm high on the Buckeyes this year. In fact, I'm so high that my bank account is currently rather low. I had to fork over an arm and a leg to book a flight and hotel room in Miami in January. The College Football Playoff Championship is not a cheap date! Trust me, I was there when we won it in 2015 too. 

And the crazy thing is, I think this 2020 team puts a running clock on that 2014/2015 team. Zeke and Bosa were nice, but Justin Fields is just built different. Regardless, I'm sure a lot of you clicked on this blog to head straight to the comments and let me know how much you're cheering for Nebraska today. I'm sure we'll even have an "Ohio State fan" say they're willing to take an L today just to get my punk ass off the site. Slow your roll, buddy. Anything short of a National Title is a catastrophic failure for the Buckeyes this year. There is absolutely nothing worth a loss this season. And plus, I'll leave you with this thought: if the Buckeyes lose today, could you imagine what tomorrow would be like without a Browns vs. Bengals preview blog? Oh the horror!

TLDR; A mild mannered Buckeyes team beats Nebraska by 5 touchdowns. A pissed off Buckeyes team wins by 100 points. There's a 0.00% chance Ohio State loses this afternoon. I'll put my job on it.