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ESPN's Latest NBA Power Rankings Are Comically Bad

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What on god's green earth did my eyes just read? Am I being trolled? That has to be it. There's no way the "experts" at ESPN made this list with serious intentions. There just can't be. I almost don't know where to start. If you ignore the fact that it is extremely silly to make this sort of list before the NBA Draft, Free Agency, trades etc where numerous teams on this list could look a whole lot different, it still stinks out loud. 

Where do we begin? Well, how about where the Warriors live. I'm sorry, did Steph Curry and Klay Thompson die? Last time I checked one had a broken hand and the other an ACL injury. I'm also pretty sure Klay Thompson, someone who does not rely on freakish athletic ability or jumping will still be able to run to his spots and make catch and shoot threes. Did everyone just forget how good this team was when Curry/Klay/Draymond were all healthy or something? To have them 6th, and the 5th Western Conference team is utterly ridiculous. This isn't even factoring in whatever they might get for Wiggins/#2. As is they are easily a top 3 team in the West. 

Which brings me to the Mavs. I get it. Luka fucking rules. They had the best offense in the NBA. Here's the thing though, you also have to play defense. Isn't it a little early to crown the Mavs? I get the sense they are going to be the trendy pick for a team to break out next season, but you still have to defend in a loaded Western Conference. In case you weren't aware, their defense stunk out loud last year. 

Now the best part. How the fuck, and I mean this sincerely, how the fuck are the Sixers ahead of BOTH the Miami Heat and the Brooklyn Nets? Does ESPN know the Miami Heat just made the goddamn NBA Finals while the Sixers got swept in the first round and have major major roster issues heading into next season? It's like ESPN is holding on to the last bit of thread with The Process. It's over ESPN. They stink. They did not run the East like you've said every season for the last like 3 years. Even with BKN not playing a single game with their fully healthy roster, that's a better team. Better high end talent, better defense, better depth, all of it. 

I'm also sure Rockets fans will take this list and not freak out. They never overreact to things like this.

So, it's important that I don't only just shit on this list, but also give you my own order. One that actually makes some goddamn sense. You can clown on me if you want, but you have to give your order as well.

1. Los Angeles Lakers

2. Los Angeles Clippers

3. Miami Heat

4. Milwaukee Bucks

5. Golden State Warriors

6. Boston Celtics

7. Denver Nuggets

8. Brooklyn Nets

9. Dallas Mavericks

10. Philadelphia 76ers

Despite their collapse, the Clippers are still good. Can't come through in the playoffs, but they'll be one of the elite teams in the West for sure. It's about time someone puts some goddamn respect on the Miami Heat too. This is entering the season right? Well you can't destroy the Bucks in a playoff series with a healthy Giannis for the majority of it and then not be the leading team in the East heading into next year. If you don't like it, sorry. I have the Nets over the Mavs because I believe that defense should matter, and that's the same reason I had Boston over Denver. 

If we were to able to include teams that weren't in this group, I would have the Raptors easily over the Sixers. Maybe even the Blazers, but the point is, that list is complete and utter trash and I bet even ESPN knows it.