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One Small Step For Man, One Giant Dunk For Honey Mustard: The First Chicken Nugget Has Been Sent To Space

I've got a legitimate question here. What the hell does NASA even do? What the hell does the Space Force even do? What does that nerd Elon Musk and SpaceX do? I mean it took some random grocery chain in Britain to send the first chicken nugget into space. If NASA was worth even a 10th of their budget, this would have been done 50 years ago. And if Elon Musk tried to blast this chickie nug into space, that shit would have exploded like you left your Hungry Man dinner in the microwave for an extra 3 minutes.  

But lucky for humanity, this grocery store had the courage to go where no man has ever gone before. They had the fortitude and resolution it took to send the first thing actually worth a damn up into outer space. This is our first real step towards attracting alien life to Earth. 

Do you really think that aliens give a shit about humans? We've been sending humans up into space for decades now and the aliens can smell the stupidity on us. They know that Earth is a flyover state. As far as intergalactic travel goes, Earth is Iowa. No offense, Trent. But aliens don't want anything to do with us because all they have to do is take a quick peek in on our current state of affairs to know that we're not worth their time. 

But a chicken nugget? A deliciously golden brown and crispy chicken nugget? Perhaps with a ramekin filled with Chick-Fil-A sauce on the side to dip it in? Well now we'll finally capture the aliens' attention. That space food we were sending up before wasn't doing shit. It's just lightly flavored cardboard. But a chicken nugget should do the trick. They get one whiff of a 10-piece and they'll be stopping into Earth in no time. Earth finally has our shot at joining the rest of the universe in the understanding that there is so much more out there, and it's all thanks to the mighty chicken nugget.