I Simply Cannot Fathom How Bob Ryan Has Never Heard Of Twix

Look, I understand we all get caught up in our lanes of life and Bob Ryan has forgotten more about basketball than I ever learned about anything. But how the fuck can you be a functioning American and not know what Twix is? Am I supposed to believe that Dick Schapp didn't stack the green room of Sports Reporters with only the finest confectionary treats like some talk show Willy Wonka or that Red Auerbach didn't offer Bobby his left Twix at the old Garden after a big playoff game? Everyone knew ol' Red always had a sweet tooth and loved chocolate as much as he hated the thought of cheerleaders on the parquet.

But even if the older, skinnier Rob Ryan somehow avoided Twix while crushing deadlines and the requisite whiskeys that came with the NBA beat back in the day along with the unlimited amount of candy that comes with raising two children while now residing squarely in the Werther's age bracket, you cannot tell me Bob Ryan missed the Seinfeld Twix episode.

Any sportswriter worth their salt, let alone a spot in their sport's Hall of Fame, should be able to reference every major moment of every single Seinfeld episode.

Even Bob's logic of leaning into being an Old doesn't check out here.

I may agree with Bob's take on Reese's since it is by farrrr the GOAT imho, his Clark Bar take is way off. I may not have any idea what a Clark Bar tastes like because I was born in the 80s, but I know they actually exist from a living on this planet for a few decades.

The best part is that Bob Ryan thinks Twix is some rinky dink candy bar that the internet is rallying around.

Hey Bobby, just because you don't know what Twix is doesn't mean it's some charity case. In fact it just so happens to be a cash cow made by a behemoth in the industry that is a Top 5 candy bar in my book because it's delicious and makes you feel like you are getting a deal since you get two bars for the price of one.

The only other thing I can think of is that Bob Ryan is either trolling us and/or playing the long con for the weirdest Super Bowl commercial ever.

For more candy talk, check out my appearance on this week's Dog Walk where we drafted Halloween candy on the most thorough piece of Barstool content I have ever been a part of. SPOILER: I drafted Twix at the 8 pick because I am a better sportswriter than Bob Ryan and drafter than the Chicago guys.