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Amy Schumer Says She's 160 Pounds And Can Catch A Dick Whenever She Wants

Props to Amy Schumer for not, and never, giving a single FUCK. But people are for some reason flipping shit about this little comment. Why? She’s 100% accurate. Not because she’s famous or an attractive girl that’s on the bigger side of life. It’s because she’s a woman. If she wants to catch some dick all she has to do is go to the nearest open window, call for some cock, and she’ll be smacked in the face by one at Ludicrous Speed. They’ll be penises flying in like swarms of locusts not seen since the Biblical days in Egypt. Hell, she won’t even have to catch any. Guys will place them right wherever they wants. That’s just the way it is. Women can get guys whenever and however they’d like no matter if they look like Nina Adgal, Amy Schumer or Jabba The Hut. They’ll always be a dude with a dick willing to lend his services.

Also, +1 for calling herself a “Jack-O-Lantern with tits” and “Cum Dumpster” while accepting an award. I’d take that over one of those classy gals any day of the week.