Grandson Foolishly Digs Up His Grandma WITHOUT Having The Resurrection Stone

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (WATE) — A Knox County man is in jail after causing nearly $30,000 in damages to a cemetery in an attempt to resurrect his grandmother. 

Law enforcement responded on Monday night to reports of vandalism at the church cemetery on Huckleberry Springs Road. Extensive damage including dig sites and broken headstones were found. 

Danny Frazier admitted to destroying some of the property in an attempt to “resurrect his grandmother,” who is buried at the cemetery. 

Frazier was arrested and charged with vandalism and criminal trespassing.

Whomst amongst us hasn’t been so grief-stricken that they didnt dig at the dirt under which lies the rotting corpse of a loved one? Hand up if it’s you that lacks the emotional intelligence to properly grieve.

Nobody. Good.

Telling a grandson that he can’t miss his grandma to the point of wanting to exhume the brittle bones and other presumably gooey matter from her would-be eternal sarcophagus is beyond the pale. We all mourn in different ways.

Some us mourn through the majesty of art. We will bust out the easel and explore the caves of our imaginations and memories through the medium of earth tones and mountain scenes. After all, it was grandma who introduced you to the squirrel-loving Air Force veteran named Bobby Ross. It’s only right that you would have a hue-driven Pavlovian response at the mere mention of wildflower honey which is a lovely shade of tan -as you know.

Others, like my friend Bill Withers, will express their sorrow through song. Let’s take a listen in and see what Bill has to say about his adoring grandmother.

Incredible.

If that doesn’t dig up some memories for you, I’m not sure what will. You know what? Let’s all spend the rest of the day pillaging through our brain cemeteries with the goal of exhuming a little more compassion for those who are lamenting loved ones lost.  

Ps: if you came here looking for Harry Potter-inspired jokes about resurrection stones, I find that disgusting. I’d never make a joke about a ring that had such history. Lest we forget, in 1943 the resurrection stone was passed to the possession of Tom Riddle who unknowingly stole it while it was still concealed in Marvolo Gaunt's Ring, which he turned into a Horcrux. The ring was thankfully destroyed in 1996 by Albus Dumbledore, but not before the stone was placed in Harry Potter's first Golden Snitch until it passed into the possession of Harry Potter who used it to great success in the Second Wizarding War which I don’t have the time to get into right now. Remind me later.