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Annapolis Couple Buys Their Dream Home Only To Find It's Been Infested By Snakes And The Only Way To Fix It Is To Burn It To The Ground

ABCNews – One family in Maryland accidentally moved into a home where some unwanted visitors managed to slither in — more than a dozen snakes — turning their “dream house” into a nightmare, according to the family’s lawyer and a lawsuit. Jeff and Jody Brooks moved into their new house in Annapolis, Maryland in December, only to find out it was already a haven for more than a dozen black rat snakes, the family’s lawyer Matthew Evans told ABC News today. The family’s 4-year-old son found the first snake, a 7-foot long reptile, just months after they moved in. It was the first of many black rat snakes, nests and snake skins that the Brookses found in their “dream home,” Evans said. After finding three, the family packed up and moved out. Some 13-15 snakes, ranging from 6 inches to 7 feet long, have been found since then, Evans said.  The family brought in a pest control company to gut the basement -– formerly the children’s playroom -– and Evans said the company found snake tunnels throughout the insulation. “As they pulled back the onion, it only got worse and worse,” Evans noted. “It’s so bad that the family was told the only way to guarantee the snakes leave is to burn down the home and let it sit for 15 years.” After spending nearly $60,000 on pest control, the family brought on Evans to file a complaint against the seller, Joan Broseker, and her agent and daughter, Barbara Van Horn. Evans said the $2 million lawsuit covers the $410,000 price of the home, the pest control and other related expenses as well as $1 million in punitive damages. 

 

Nooooope. Nope nope nope. You won’t be finding me in the Annapolis anytime ever. From here on out Annapolis is dead to me. Sorry delicious restaurants. Sorry beautiful views and awesome boats. The only way to fix this is to burn that motherfucker to the ground and to give this poor couple all the money in the world for what they’ve experienced and give it to them yesterday. And I think we have to take a long, hard look at Annapolis and if it’s fit to be the capital. Maybe put them on probation. Just the fact that conditions exist where snakes can take over a building is enough for me to deem it unsuitable to be the capital. I can’t have my representatives making decisions on what to do with my blogger tax dollars if they’re constantly looking over their shoulder for these slimy motherfuckers. If we have to burn down the whole city and let it sit for 15 years, so be it. It was a good run Annapolis, but you’re fucking OUT. I don’t care what the next capital is as long as it’s far as fuck from this house.

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PS: While we’re here, motion to deport that savage RDT to South America. All in favor say “yea”…

rdt 3

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Apparently Orioles blogger RDT is a snake guy. Named his snake “Snake Gyllenhall” which actually is pretty funny. I don’t know what to think of snake guys. Snakes are gross. But I’d rather have a snake guy on my side than a snake guy on the enemy’s side, that’s for sure. And as long as he’s not a spider guy, I can live with it. People who have birds as pets or have spiders as pets are better off 6 feet under. For their good, my good, humanity’s good, Jesus’s good, fat Sally in accounting’s good, everyone’s good. Oh and I need a video of RDT doing the feeding time scene from Road Trip immediately.

 

h/t Joe