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"I Can Play The Game And I Can Punch Your Face Off" - Wayne Simmonds Is Heading Home To Save The Toronto Maple Leafs

It's been a few years since Wayne Simmonds has had a really strong season in the NHL. He had back-to-back 30 goal seasons with the Flyers but that was 3 full seasons and 3 different teams ago. It didn't work out for him in Nashville, it didn't work out for him in New Jersey, and it didn't work out for him in Buffalo. But now he gets to head back home to his Toronto Maple Leafs pajamas like John Tavares and he gets to play for his hometown Leafs. 

When you're playing for the Leafs, you don't need to score goals because they have guys like Auston Matthews and William Nylander for that. When you're playing for the Leafs, you don't need to rack up assists because they have guys like Mitch Marner and John Tavares for that. But when you're playing for the Leafs, you gotta be a tough mother fucker because…well…they have absolutely nobody for that. 

So much talent but that lineup is Charmin Ultra. So sure, Wayne Simmonds may not be a 30-goal scorer in this league anymore. But the Toronto Maple Leafs don't need him to score 30. They probably don't even need him to score 20. He just needs to be a tough son of a bitch who finally gives that team a little bit of a bite. Get greasy along the boards, crash the net hard, chuck some knucks and cave somebody's skull in if needed. 

Hockey Twitter will tell you it's a shitty signing, but Hockey Twitter doesn't know dick about the game. This is a great move for the Leafs and a great move for Wayne Simmonds as well. This is the perfect opportunity for him to have a real impact on a real team again. Just keep your head on a swivel when you're playing Toronto, though, because Wayne Simmonds is looking to punch it directly off your shoulders. 

@JordieBarstool