You Can Go To The Super Bowl If You Give This Guy A Hand Job Or Blow Job
Free Super bowl Ticket for Hot Chick – $1
Good news for someone… My uncle got 4 tickets to the superbowl and gave me 2. My (biatch) girlfriend broke up with me on the day of the New England game so I will be taking someone along with me to spite her. I will pay for tickets, hotel, food, drinks, etc.
My requirements are simple:
1. You must be hot and a Ravens fan.
2. You will be expected to put out, at least HJ/ BJ/ etc.
3. You will have to hang with my aunt and uncle for at least a little bit.
Email me if you are interested — this is not a joke.
So I saw this last night on Deadspin with the title “Who wants to go the Super Bowl with this Awful Human Being”, and to be perfectly honest it pissed me off. Why is this guy an awful human being? He’s the exact opposite. An awful human being offers a free ticket with no caveats then when a chick accepts tries to coerce her into sex after the fact. This guy is completely upfront about it. Its Capitalism 101. He has a good and he’s setting the market price at an HJ/BJ. Someone will 100% take him up on this offer. He’s testing the market. Anyone who thinks that’s wrong is either an asshole or a communist. Just classic PC America. “Oh My god how could this guy ever want anything in return for the free hotel, food, tickets, and drinks! What an asshole” If two adults want to trade Super Bowl for sex they have every right to do it. Anyone who disagrees can go fuck themselves.
Now on to the real issue with this ad. Bro, an HJ or BJ? First of all it’s the Super Bowl. Second of all, who says HJ/BJ? That’s like telling someone they owe you 10 dollars or 100 dollars. You can’t do that, no one would ever give you 100. You need to be more firm. So I set up a playbook for you and anyone else who is ever trying to trade NFL playoff tickets for sexual favors. Don’t thank me, but you’re welcome
PS
By far the worst part of that deal is hanging out with this guy’s aunt/uncle. That’s offensive because old people suck.