McDonald's Announces New Fish McBites, Oh Fuck Yes!

McDonald’s is unveiling a new seafood snack starting next month: the Fish McBites. The croquette-sized poppers appear to be a fish stick dipper that’s similar to a deconstructed Filet o’ Fish. There will be three sizes for the McBites: snack, regular, and shareable — although we all know in America those super-sized versions rarely get shared.

Says the Chicago Tribune: McDonald’s made the announcement along with reporting its fourth-quarter results, which beat expectations for profit and same-store sales and provided a much-needed boost for the world’s largest restaurant chain. But the Oak Brook-based company still warned of likely weakness in its winter results.

In addition to the new fish bites, they’ll be announcing breakfast, burger and chicken items unveiled soon, which the company said are doing well in test markets. We wish that test market was our mouth hole, but oh well.

Hey everyone, remember that food that was totally disgusting and only pedophiles ate? Well guess what? We just made it Bite Size!

Here’s a couple things I think we can all agree on. The earth is round. The sky is blue. And if you have ever had a filet of fish from McDonald’s you are 100% a serial killer. And guess what, now that they’re in bite size? Still a serial killer. I don’t care how deep fried it is. I don’t care if they look like McNuggets. If you go to McDonalds and order bite size pieces of FISH then dip that fish in tartar sauce you’re gross, plain and simple. And if it sounds like I’m judging its because I am. Sometimes people need to be judged, otherwise they would think eating fish at McDonald’s is a completely acceptable behavior.