You Have to Listen to This Houston Oilers Coach With the Worst Pre-Game Speech of All-Time

I know things were different 50 years ago than they are now and Lord knows we still have some dumbasses coaching professional football — hey Dan Quinn — but my goodness, Bill Peterson may have chosen the wrong profession. Not that being the world's greatest orator is a prerequisite to be a football coach, but his 1-18 record seems to demonstrate his abilities as a tactician were about on par with what you see in this "pump-up speech."

"Here's our game plan: we're gonna go out there in this first (quarter) and we're gonna explode like a bomb," Peterson said. "Then the second, we're just gonna get higher. Third quarter, we're gonna get higher. And the fourth quarter, we're just gonna catch on fire. That's our game plan."

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Yeah, listening to that guy before going out to play one of the most violent games in existence against grown men who are actively trying to hurt me would not inspire too much confidence. We're going to get higher and then catch on fire? Even the most interpretive high school English teacher in the country couldn't make that mean something.

The football pre-game speech is one of the few things in life you can't fake your way through. You can either do it or you can't. Bill Peterson could learn a thing or two from Georgia Tech's Derrick Moore, who delivered a speech that still gets me fired up every time I hear it.