Israeli Couple is Told They Can't Have Beach Sex So They Have Restaurant Table Sex Like Any Two Crazy Kids in Love

Source - A couple having sexual relations on the beach in Rishon Lezion in southern Israel ended up with four fines on Saturday after breaking multiple coronavirus regulations.

The couple was first apprehended by police after walking along the shore without masks. The two refused to put on masks after being asked by municipal security. Despite claiming that they lived near the beach, security officers realized after a quick check that the two did not live together nor did they live near the beach and issued fines to the pair.

A short time later, an employee at a closed restaurant saw a couple having sex on one of the tables set up in front of the restaurant. When security officers arrived at the scene, they realized that it was the same couple that had been fined a short time before. Once again, the couple was caught not wearing masks and the two were fined for violating coronavirus regulations.

Under the regulations, only professional athletes and individuals exercising on their own can be present at the beach. Health officials advise wearing masks and keeping two meters distance between individuals to prevent infection.

I hate to play this conflict down the dreaded middle. I'd prefer to take a tough stand because this the intersection of a lot of important issues we are all facing right now. Public safety. The law. Health. The power of government to regulate. Romance. Personal liberties. The right to make bacon on the beach. 

It seems to me though, there were reasonable people on all sides of this and I'm sorry they couldn't reach a compromise. On the one hand, you've got the authorities who are simply asking that you wear a mask when you rut in the sand like a couple of sea turtles. And frankly I don't that's too big an ask in a time like this. On the other, you've got the natural human desire to express affection. Outdoors. In a public place. These two young people in love aren't asking to bone on the beach or a restaurant table like a couple of Israeli Rick Pitno's because they have no other choice. They want to because it's more dangerous and therefore more fun. And who are any of us to deny them that? Besides, they could argue that it qualifies as exercise and therefore legal under the guidelines to go maskless. Though I'll concede the two meters apart thing is tough to workaround. 

So hopefully next time the two sides can reach some kind of a reasonable middle ground that works for everyone. I'm going to suggest next time you want to fornicate like otters on a restricted beach, use non-confrontational language. "When you/then I" sentences, instead of commands. For example, "When you two bang on a table in my restaurant, then I feel like you're not respecting the fact I have to clean your bodily fluids off for the next customer." Or "When you tell me to not have sex in the sand, then I feel like having sex in front of a restaurant server." And so on.

All I know is that is a couple I want to hang with next Yom Kippur. They've got a long, happy life together ahead of them.