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The First Trailer For Jessica Chastain's 'The 355' Is A Good Example Of How Not To Do A Trailer

When a top-secret weapon falls into mercenary hands, wild card CIA agent Mason "Mace" Brown will need to join forces with rival badass German agent Marie, former MI6 ally and cutting-edge computer specialist Khadijah, and skilled Colombian psychologist Graciela on a lethal, breakneck mission to retrieve it, while also staying one-step ahead of a mysterious woman, Lin Mi Sheng, who is tracking their every move. As the action rockets around the globe from the cafes of Paris to the markets of Morocco to the wealth and glamour of Shanghai, the quartet of women will forge a tenuous loyalty that could protect the world—or get them killed

Let me start off by saying I really like everyone involved in this. Chastain and Nyong'o are two of the best actresses in the world right now, and I've never seen a Penélope Cruz performance that I didn't like (same with Kruger for the most part). Even the supporting cast like Sebastian Stan and Édgar Ramírez are some of my favorite guys! I also enjoy a lot of Simon Kinberg's screenplays (although his directorial debut, Dark Phoenix, was a bit of a disaster).

The problem with this trailer is that is basically hit the C-level spy-action movie BINGO.

#1 "We used to know who the bad guys were....but now we don't"

#2 "This mission is off the books"

#3 "If we don't succeed it will be WWIII"

#4 Over-exposition of team members 

#5 A shot where a person is in view, a car drives  in front of them, and they disappear by the time the car is gone

#6 Someone inexplicably fighting with some old mele weapon 

#7 A circular shot of all the team members back to back with their guns out

#8 And, of course, motherfucking PRIVATE MILITARY CONTRACTORS/MERCENARIES, who are the bad guys in every movie now since Hollywood is too afraid to use a country instead. 

#9 A poorly stylized billboard top 100 song from the last 10ish years

Also, as is the case with every male-directed movie with tough female character(s), there is a scene where they are at a fancy party of some sort and walk elegantly up a set of stairs. 

This movie could very well end up being great espionage-action fun! But this trailer didn't do it any favors. 

It's scheduled for a January 15th release. Usually, studios release the movies that they think are going to suck in the beginning of the year. And considering that this wasn't bumped at all with all of Universal's release date changes, I don't have high hopes for this.